“I didn’t know it was a rape. I don’t know what rape looks like.”

This is the comment from a 16-year-old high school boy who witnessed the sexual assault of a female student in Steubenville, Ohio when asked why he didn’t do something to stop it. This comment has not left my mind. It’s very discouraging. After all the “progress” that has been made in working to change the social norms that support violence and the attitudes that allow rape and other sexual violence to persist, clearly we are not there yet! What is wrong with this picture that in a suburban high school in Ohio, not only was a young girl repeatedly raped and assaulted, then videotaped but many students participated and/or witnessed the assault, did nothing, laughed and sent the images virally around the world.

Boys being boys? Bystanders in denial? Witnesses caught like deer in the headlights? Unconscious accomplices? Immaturity combined with entitlement? Of course it reminds me of the Jerry Sandusky case at Penn State where the assistant coach saw “something” in the locker room between Sandusky and a youth and although disturbed by what he saw, he wasn’t sure and he didn’t know what to do and so did nothing to intervene.

So here we are in April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and also Child Abuse Prevention Month. Yesterday, Wednesday, April 24^th was the 14^th annual Denim Day USA, is a sexual violence prevention education campaign dedicated to supporting survivors of all ages, genders, races, ethnicities and nationalities, and preventing rape. Each year we promote wearing jeans with a purpose and invite youth to participate in educational opportunities to debunk the myths that continue to persist. Clearly, there is so much more education to do. We need more bystander education that aims to engage everyone to become aware and alert and to care about this issue for their own well-being and for the well-being of others. There is something to say for “doing the right thing” kind of education. Are there enough courses in schools teaching how important it is to do the right thing and if you are not sure — to find out?

Organizations like Peace Over Violence and 1in6 work on the issue of sexual abuse everyday, not just on Denim Day. Every month is sexual abuse awareness and prevention month for the network of an agencies that provides intervention services, prevention and policy toward the vision of a culture that doesn’t ignore, allow, excuse or condone sexual violence in any form.

Our efforts must persist but we also have to rethink, reframe and perhaps reinvent how we do what we do to have greater impact. We have to find more ways to engage individuals—especially young people, communities, families and all of our institutions in this effort. We have a long way to go. I personally refuse to give up or to abandon this vision. It’s time to organize and engage with one another so that our very culture says NO MORE to sexual violence, domestic abuse and child abuse.

I believe we can get there. Will you believe too?

- By Patti Giggans

Patti Giggans is the Executive Director of Peace Over Violence. Peace Over Violence is dedicated to building healthy relationships, families and communities free from sexual, domestic and interpersonal violence. She is also the Vice-President of the Board of Directors for 1in6.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

Even a few years ago, who would have imagined that the opening plenary panel at the 2013 End Violence Against Women International (EVAWI) conference (last week in Baltimore) would focus on supporting men who have experienced unwanted or abusive childhood sexual interactions. It’s difficult to overstate the value of a shift in thinking that exposed nearly 1,200 conference participants—including advocates, investigators, prosecutors and clinicians—to the notion of engaging men as direct beneficiaries of efforts to end sexual violence. What a long way we’ve come!

The speakers on the panel, facilitated by 1in6 Founding Board member Dr. David Lisak, included 1in6 Founder, Steve LePore, and 1in6 collaborative partners, Rick Goodwin of The Men’s Project of Ottawa and 1in6 Canada, and Gary Foster of Living Well in Australia. Dr. Howard Fradkin of MaleSurvivor also spoke.  All have devoted their lives to finding ways to help men who experience childhood abuse to live healthier, happier lives.

Former San Diego police detective, Joanne Archambault, founded End Violence Against Women International in 2003, to provide “affordable training for all disciplines with an emphasis on the law enforcement investigation and proper criminal justice responses to sexual assault and domestic violence.” In the intervening years, EVAWI has become a leading voice in the international effort to create safer, violence-free communities. EVAWI’s mission and stature made the inclusion of male survivors on the panel all the more powerful.

Historically, programs to end gender-based violence have understandably focused on ending violence against women and children. Women and girls have been—and continue to be—the most likely victims of sexual abuse or assault. Men, usually seen through the lens of being participants in masculine culture, have most often been viewed by the movement principally as bystanders, with a duty and potential to intervene to end violence against women by other men; or as perpetrators of violence against women and children.

What’s always been lost in that model (and was highlighted by the panel) is the reality that 1 in 6 men were among those children sexually abused in childhood. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention  reports that “more than 1 in 4 (28.5 percent) men in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime” and the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) study suggests that nearly two-thirds of men (62 percent) may have experienced some kind of emotional, physical or sexual childhood trauma.

Let me be clear. Having a trauma history never excuses abusive or harmful behavior.

But how might our violence-prevention conversations shift if we were to operate on the assumption that a given man is at least as likely to have experienced trauma himself as he is likely to become a perpetrator of sexual violence? What an opportunity for eliciting empathy for other victims of violence!

And how might that notion expand our view of the benefits of reaching out to male survivors of childhood sexual abuse? Or even to men who have behaved offensively?

At the conference, hundreds of participants stopped by the 1in6 exhibit booth after the panel to express support for expanding services to men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood and as adults. Many said the panel presentation had opened their eyes to a new way of looking at their work and the people who are affected.

The question of how best to reach those men, how to get them to engage in services, remains one of our biggest challenges. But EVAWI’s cracking open the dialogue to include men as legitimate recipients of services for sexual trauma represents an enormous step toward healing and change for all of us—men, women and children.

Thank you EVAWI, for your remarkable vision.

- By Peter Pollard

Peter Pollard is the Training and Outreach Director for 1in6, Inc. Peter previously worked for 15 years as a state, child-protection social worker and was the Public Education director at Stop It Now! Since 2003, he has served as the Western Massachusetts coordinator for SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) and also does work for a Certified Batterers Intervention Program.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

1in6 provides resources for survivors and their loved ones.  If you are just beginning your journey or need support along the way our 24/7 SupportLine is trained to help. Read more about guys like you and their inspiring stories.

This is probably the most complicated and least understood aspect of child sex abuse. 90 percent of all perpetrators are known to the victims, with 30 – 40 percent coming from the victim’s immediate family and only 10 percent strangers. The other 50 – 60 percent of perpetrators include older kids, babysitters, teachers, ministers, coaches and leaders in youth-serving programs. So to state the obvious, in most cases victims usually know their offenders and are related in some way before the abuse starts.

Offenders take advantage of the trust placed in them. They can be so calculating, and the abuse so gradual, that it goes unnoticed or undetected. It is not uncommon for  the victim to even think this is a normal part of the relationship. Even if they know on some level that there is something wrong, it can be incredibly difficult for a child, who is a victim of power and control, to rationally separate the abuse from the normal parts of the relationship. Most abuse starts with what is called grooming, where the offender uses attention, flattery and sometimes gifts to gain the trust of the child. The grooming behavior of the offender validates the victim and the abuse invalidates them. I believe that because of this grooming and manipulation, most child victims think the abuse is either normal or brought on by their own behavior.

As a survivor I may have many rationales for why it happened, but no matter what, I truly believed in my heart it was brought on by something I did or did not do. The mantle of shame was mine to wear until I finally did the work to be able to take it off.

In my mind, I believed that I had brought on the abuse, leaving the real offender off the hook. I had completely separated the abusive behavior from the person whom I loved and looked up to. And even though I eventually realized this just wasn’t true—and that blaming myself hurt me in the long run. At the time though, it helped me avoid facing the truth and kept me sane. I had to see the offender almost daily, so now with the abuse locked away under my guard, I could “normalize” my relationship with him When I was around my abuser in public everything was normal, so no one would suspect what I thought I had done. The interesting part is that on every other level I had great respect and deeply loved my abuser and as long as I keep the secret locked away, it was easy to show love for him.

In my case, my offender was my minister. I idealized him. He was my mentor. Everyone, including me, thought he was an amazing gift from God. I wanted to grow up just like him, but I thought I could never be that good. After the abuse ended, I would still go see him on a regular basis. Three years later he performed my wedding ceremony. A year after that he performed my mother’s memorial service. I continued to see him on a decreasing basis until I was in my early forties.

I never once thought, “you bastard, why did you do that to me.” It was my self-esteem that suffered. I was the one with shame as a constant companion. It never dawned on me that keeping the secret was hurting me. Some part of my brain figured that was the way to be “normal.” “Nothing wrong here!” I thought. Unfortunately that denial and dissociation could not possibly be more destructive.

If you find yourself where I did, try to begin speaking your truth. Find someone safe and just blurt it out. That is the start. The shame isn’t yours to carry—it belongs with the perpetrator.

I think you will find you have a lot to unpack once you risk starting. Be prepared, this healing thing is not a destination, but rather an unending journey. Here’s the spoiler: on the healing path, you will go to amazing places, meet incredible people, and see, hear and feel things you never imagined. Safe travels and may your journey be blessed.

- by Randy Ellison

Randy’s careers include community health worker with Multnomah County Health Department, Portland, OR, a youth camp manager at a church camp in the Cascade Mountains, a Realtor in Bend, OR, and a lumber wholesaler in Portland. In 1999 he moved to Ashland, Oregon and began remodeling houses. He now works as an advocate for survivors of child sexual abuse and has authored many articles on the subject. He has a book, Boys Don’t Tell; Ending the Silence of Abuse ,which has recently been published by Morgan James.

Randy works with several organizations on abuse prevention and awareness. He is a member of CAN, Child Abuse Network of Jackson County, which is a collaboration of over 40 agencies working together to impact child abuse in Southern Oregon. He is Board President of OAASIS, Oregon Abuse Survivors in Service, based in Portland.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

With this year’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) almost upon us, we are engaged, inspired and challenged to reach more students than ever before. Many campus awareness campaigns are brilliantly successful. The perfect recipe for effective outreach is specific to the school culture, media headlines and the all-powerful budget.

But what if you do find that perfect mix of ingredients? What happens when the information reaches your target population? Does your mental health department have a higher intake rate? Do hotline numbers skyrocket? We spend so much time creating the events that we often forget about the potential impact. Making sure we have adequate resources is just as important as outreach.

Triggers are everywhere during the month of SAAM. This year’s campaign also puts a spotlight on childhood sexual abuse and the adults dealing with its effects. For many, college is a time where we engage in new relationships and more importantly a great deal of introspection. Students are forming connections with people who may influence their current and future standing in the community and this may stir abuse reactive feelings. Undoubtedly, these new relationships can challenge any student’s learned form of communication and capacity to set and respect boundaries.

Men—well known to be silent-survivors of childhood sexual abuse—are usually just seen as supporters of female survivors. We ask them to “Walk In Our Shoes” and to “Step-Up” as bystanders. In our understandable focus on women, sometimes we may forget that men also may be triggered and recall their own experiences with abuse. Research tells us that one in every six of our male students, faculty and staff have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood and others have experienced abusive sexual interactions as adults. Have we missed the mark? Are we prepared to also support the men on campus who have had those unwanted or abusive sexual experiences?

Experienced in advocacy and prevention education, I am the first to admit that my work revolved primarily around the 1 in 4 females that will or have experienced sexual violence on campus. Yet, I was grateful for the opportunity to learn more about how we can better respond to other underserved populations, including men.  As many of you know we found little to no resources specific to male survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

As the new Community Education, Awareness & Outreach Director at 1in6, I am inspired to offer the much-requested resources to students, educators, and administrators. We invite you to be involved in an exciting and safe discussion concerning the advocacy and healing of all survivors on your campus.

 - By Martha Marin, Community Education, Outreach & Awareness Director for 1in6

Martha is a Colombian native raised in L.A. and South Florida where she received a B.A. in Business Management from the University of North FL. She brings us a unique set of skills acquired from many years of for-profit management and a deep dedication to human rights. As a Program Coordinator for the Women’s Center of Jacksonville and FL Dept. of Health, she taught thousands of students on topics related to the prevention of sexual assault including cyber bullying, LGBTQ/sexual harassment and teen dating violence as well as human trafficking. Martha is a public speaker, consultant and professional trainer.

Most recently she served as the Chair of the Northeast Florida Human Trafficking Coalition. Her international projects include a large-scale bi-lingual internship for the USAID Scholarship for Economic Education and Development at FL State College at Jacksonville. Martha first identified the lack of services for male survivors while teaching at a correctional facility. The need was overwhelming. In response she developed the life skills and healing curriculum, “YOU ARE WORTHY”!

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

• The Examiner
• Huffington Post
• Cosmopolitan
• US News
• ABC News

For the launch of NO MORE, Joyful Heart staff members headed to Washington, D.C. with our founder, president and fearless leader Mariska. She stood with Vice President Joe Biden and Attorney General Eric Holder as they introduced a series of new grants to reduce victims of domestic violence-related homicides. Check out those NO MORE pins on them!

• USA Today
• Huffington Post
• Politico
• Washington Post

Mariska Hargitay greets Joe Biden, as they proudly display their NO MORE pins.

While Vice President Biden spoke about the necessity for grants to fund programs to support survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, mark. Brand Ambassador Ashley Greene took the stand to address Congress and announced survey results from the NO MORE Study on teen dating violence, funded by the Avon Foundation:

• ABC News
• Washington Examiner
• Sacramento Bee
• Hollywood Life

mark. Brand Ambassador Ashley Greene Announces "No More Campaign" Study Results On Capitol Hill

The team then whisked off to the National Press Club, where Mariska had the honor of being the headlining speaker for their luncheon series, and was supported by Sarah Tofte, Maile Zambuto and Lendon Ebbels. Watch her dynamic and engaging speech below:

• Press.org -watch the speech here!
• Washington Examiner
• Houston Chronicle
• The Patch

Mariska Hargitay speaks to the National Press Club about the NO MORE movement

In addition to introducing NO MORE to the media, the JHF team was there with Kym Worthy, super-prosecutor from Detroit, to help advocate for ending the backlog of rape kits in Detroit and all across the country:

• The Detroit News

Lastly, from our home bases all over the country, NO MORE partners contributed to a Live Blog to chronicle the events, pictures and shed light about the issues all day. If you missed the action on NO MORE Day, take a look back here:

• ScribbleLive NO MORE Blog 

Stay tuned for a first-hand account of the day from one of our D.C. JHF team members!

We at Joyful Heart are thrilled to be a part of NO MORE Day, happening tomorrow, March 13. This day marks the public launch of NO MORE, the nation’s first unifying awareness symbol to end domestic violence and sexual assault.

It’s been nearly a week sincethe President signed the Violence Against Women Act into law, the nation’s cornerstone response to domestic violence and sexual assault. Yet it was over 400 days since it had expired, leaving the resources that protect victims and organizations that prevent violence and abuse in limbo from October 2011 to February of this year.

It marks four days since people across the globe celebrated International Women’s Day and a century since this celebration first began. Yet one in three women across the world experience violence in their lifetimes—rape, assault or abuse, including those who live right here in the United States.

Today, in communities across the country, advocates will join forces to address the need to end domestic violence and sexual assault by launching NO MORE, the first overarching symbol that is bringing together all people in our society to end domestic violence and sexual assault.

We invite you to join us—from wherever you are in the country—to help launch NO MORE and participate in one of the most concerted and collaborative efforts to end domestic violence and sexual assault.

Regardless of where you are located, you can follow along with NO MORE Day activities and updates at our online liveblog here: www.scribblelive.com/Event/NO_MORE_Day.

We’ll be using the NO MORE symbol, helping to release critical research on bystanding and tweeting along with @NOMOREorg, actress and advocate @Mariska and many, many more of our partners. Please join us.

WHAT IS NO MORE?

You’ve likely seen the pink breast cancer ribbon or the red AIDS ribbon. NO MORE is a groundbreaking new symbol designed to transform our response to domestic violence and sexual assault, end the stigma, shame and isolation, galvanize millions into action and radically increase the awareness of domestic violence and sexual assault everywhere.

WHAT IS NO MORE DAY?

On March 13, NO MORE Day, thousands of advocates and supporters across the country will unite to officially launch NO MORE.

WHY NO MORE?

Domestic violence and sexual assault are not easy to talk about, although they impact millions of men, women and children every year. Because of the stigma and shame, these issues often remain hidden in our society. NO MORE seeks to bring domestic violence and sexual assault into the national spotlight to generate more attention, more resources and more action to prevent them. NO MORE aims to empower bystanders of domestic violence and sexual assault in every community to break the silence around these issues and get involved.

WAYS TO TAKE ACTION:

• KNOW MORE. Learn the signs of domestic violence and listen without judgment to victims/survivors of sexual assault. Get the facts and know the resources available.
• Say NO MORE. Break the silence. Speak out. Seek help when you see this problem or harassment of any kind in your family, your community, your workplace or school.
• Share NO MORE. Share the NO MORE symbol with everyone you know. Facebook it. Tweet it. Pin it. Instagram it. Email it. Wear it. Help to increase awareness about the extent of domestic violence and sexual assault. Visit the NO MORE Shop at nomore.org.
• Ensure NO MORE. Get involved. Volunteer in your community, or donate to a local, state or national domestic violence or sexual assault organization.

To help elevate this conversation even more, we invite you to participate in the NO MORE Day Thunderclap, a social media tool that allows everyone who signs up to share a tweet or a Facebook post all at once. By lending your voice today—and 140 characters—to our Thunderclap, you can help make sure our message of ending domestic violence and sexual assault gets heard loud and clear on March 13.

On Wednesday at 3pm ET, NO MORE will host a special Twitter chat about NO MORE, these issues and the many ways you can take action. We’ll be tweeting along during this chat too, along with Mariska. No matter where you are, we welcome you to join by following us and the #NOMOREday hashtag.

OTHER THINGS TO DO ON NO MORE DAY:

• Request the NO MORE Toolkit at nomore.org to get the symbol and start using it.
• Start following NO MORE on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
• Take a picture of how you’re using NO MORE in your community, or tell us why you say NO  MORE. Share photos on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook using the hashtag #NOMOREday
• Share this with five friends!

Events will be taking place nationwide in celebration of NO MORE Day, including:

• Washington Wizards Game (open to the public) – Come support NO MORE, get free products and see the debut of our new PSA (Purchase tickets, here. Promo code: nomore)
• Invisible War Screenings (open to the public) – Find one near you.
• A National Press Club Luncheon Hosted by Founder and President of the Joyful Heart Foundation, Actress Mariska Hargitay in Washington D.C. (sold out, but you can watch it live on press.org at 12:30pm EST.
• Congressional Briefing on Capitol Hill, Washington D.C. (Dirksen Senate Office Building, Room 538 at 9 am EST. Please RSVP with your name and number of guests) – Results of the new Avon Foundation-funded NO MORE Study: Teens and Young Adults on Dating Violence and Sexual Assault, to be presented by Ashley Greene, actress and ambassador for Avon.

Today on International Women’s Day, we pause to reflect on the current status of women worldwide and honor those among us who fearlessly stand up to empower women everywhere.

Globally, up to six out of every ten women experience physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime. This is not just a statistic—this number reflects the lives and futures of mothers, daughters, best friends, sisters and colleagues that have been altered forever.

International Women’s Day has brought citizens across the world together since 1908 to celebrate women’s achievements and to openly discuss what needs to be done to build a better future. Women and men worldwide join hands in paying homage to the amazing leaders who helped pave the way to global equality. We honor the movers and shakers who will help women achieve and sustain full rights and we marvel at the accomplishments we as a society have achieved since the inception of International Women’s Day. It is a day dedicated to standing together as we acknowledge that although we have made leaps and bounds, we have so much further to go until women achieve true equality in all corners of the world.

Today, we reflect, open up our hearts to one another and acknowledge members of the international community who have made significant accomplishments on behalf of women worldwide. We would like to recognize six amazing leaders who have and continue to trail blaze on behalf of women on each and every continent.

These leaders have committed their lives to protecting women’s rights and to lowering the number of those affected by sexual violence. They serve as an inspiration not only to us working in the field, but also to women and young girls everywhere. By shedding light in their own communities and on a global platform, they gracefully and fearlessly stand up to say NO MORE to violence and yes to equality.

 Africa: Leymah Gbowee, Liberia

 “I wish for a better life. I wish for food for my children. I wish that sexual abuse and exploitation in schools would stop. This is the dream of the African girl.”

Leymah Gbowee is the Executive Director of the Women’s Peace and Security Network and is internationally acclaimed for her work on behalf of women in Africa. As the 2011 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, Gbowee is most recognized for advocacy on behalf of women in conflict zones, whom often bear the brunt of extreme sexual violence.

In her youth, Gbowee was a victim of the Liberian civil war that took 250,000 lives and destroyed the country she loved. As a survivor of intimate partner violence and a young, newly single mother of four, she sought asylum in a refugee camp and was forced to send her children away to Ghana to ensure their safety. She began training and working as a social worker during the first conflict and eventually had a vision that lead to the formation of the Women of Liberia Mass Action for Peace movement.

The Women of Liberia Mass Action for Peace staged weekly interreligious pray-ins and nonviolent protests against the brutal war at local markets. They protested all forms of violence, but the violence against women and children was so rampant at the time that protecting themselves and their children in particular fueled Gbowee and the movement’s passion. The women protested regularly until peace talks were reinstated at the end of the second conflict in 2003, and the group’s enormous efforts are largely credited for bringing peace and stability to the region. Gbowee was also an influential force in getting Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, her fellow 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient, as the first woman elected as President in Liberia.

“I don’t feel like I’ve done anything extraordinary but take my little light and shine it in darkness,” said Gbowee, in an interview with the LA Times, “The journey has been tough; the road has been rough. But it’s been rewarding.”

To watch Leymah Gbowee discuss the impact of unlocking women’s potential, click here.

South America: Michelle Bachelet, Chile

“I know from my own experience that there is no limit to what women can do.”

Michelle Bachelet is the Under-Secretary General and Executive Director of UN Women, or UNIFEM, the United Nations’ organization for the empowerment of women worldwide. She was formerly the President of Chile and is formerly trained as a pediatrician.

Dr. Bachelet is a long-time champion of women’s rights. As the first female President of Chile, she has fought and advocated for gender equality and women’s empowerment throughout her entire career, from organizing small protests in University to her leading role as Executive Director of UN Women. She experienced extreme torture during the Chilean military dictatorship, and since has been an outspoken advocate against violence. As President, she advocated for reallocating revenues to spend on desperately needed social protection for Chilean women and children. She used a portion of the money to fund research and development on public health issues relating to violence. Other initiatives that came from this fund included tripling the number of free early child-care centers for low-income families and building 3,500 child-care centers around the country.

Dr. Bachelet was elected to the head of UN Women upon its inception in 2010. She immediately instated initiatives to support and protect women worldwide, including naming the end violence against women and girls as one of the main priorities of the commission. Launched by UN Women in November 2012, the “COMMIT” project calls on leaders worldwide to fulfill their promise and take a stand by making new and concrete national commitments to end violence against women and girls.

During the past week, Dr. Bachelet presided over the largest international meeting on ending violence against women, the United Nation’s Commission on the Status of Women (CSW57). Representatives from 85 different countries, countless NGOs and media partners listened as she spoke about initiatives to protect women and girls, and declared this the priority of the UN Women and its partners in the coming year.

“We are here in this Commission on the Status of Women because every person has the right to live free of violence and discrimination. The world can no longer afford the costs of violence against women and girls, the social and economic costs and the costs in deep human pain and suffering,” said Under-Secretary Bachelet in her opening statement.

We are so grateful to Michelle Bachelet for being an incredible voice, example and ally to the cause, and for spreading light into these issues worldwide.

To watch Michelle Bachelet discuss International Women’s day, click here.

Europe: Akima Thomas, United Kingdom

Akima Thomas is a leader in the research field of domestic violence and women’s empowerment. As the clinical director of the Women and Girls Network in the United Kingdom, she has pioneered studies about holistic treatment and spoken internationally on behalf of women who experienced trauma. She has presented and worked to spread the Women and Girls Network’s healing model all across the world.

Thomas’s organization, Women and Girls Network, incorporates a holistic method to trauma. By recognizing incidents of abuse are “injuries that bruise the sou,.” the organization has worked for 25 years to develop a curriculum integrating mind, body and spirit into the recovery process. In addition to holistic healing, Thomas advocates for proper training for healers and law enforcement officials so that they can listen and truly respond sensitively to a survivor’s needs.

Most recently, Ms. Thomas was a featured speaker at the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. Her presentation argued that violence against women is not a gendered issue, but rather a human rights issue engrained in our society. She presents the issues from a 360-degree perspective—everything from the financial burden of domestic violence on society to the immeasurable impact on the female gender’s sense of autonomy, liberty and ability to achieve our full potential.

By proving we can no longer afford to be silent, Akima Thomas serves as an extraordinary role model for girls worldwide.

To watch Akima Thomas discuss violence against women and girls at the CSW57, click here.

North America: Eve Ensler, USA

“You have to give to the world the thing that you want the most, in order to fix the broken parts inside you.”

Eve Ensler is an American activist who has been pushing the envelopes and rejecting the stereotypical female norm since she first wrote and performed her award-winning play, The Vagina Monologues, in 1996. She has since gone on to support a wide variety of female empowerment initiatives before founding her own organization, V-Day, in 1998.

V-Day began as a way for productions of The Vagina Monologues to fundraise for anti-violence organizations across the United States. Funds raised from shows went to organizations working stop violence against women and girls, including rape, battery, incest, female genital mutilation (FGM), and sex slavery. Joyful Heart is grateful to have been one of the many recipients of a V-Day gift. These small fundraisers gained huge traction, and it has since grown into an organic global movement to create films, campaigns and movements on behalf of women everywhere. To date, V-day has fundraised over $85 million to end violence against women.

The movement recently culminated in the 15^th anniversary of the organization’s founding for the launch of ONE BILLION RISING. With Ensler at the helm, the concept began with the fact that according to UN Statistics, 1 billion women will be beaten or raped in their lifetime worldwide. She invited women on February 14, 2013 to walk out of their jobs, schools, offices and homes and dance, walk or rise up in the streets. The day happened with enormous success, with participants dancing and speaking out from 205 countries across the world.

As a trail-blazer, breaker of taboos and a guiding voice in ending the silence, we are profoundly moved and grateful for Eve’s amazing work to end domestic violence and sexual assault for women everywhere.

To listen to Eve Ensler speak out about hate and violence against women, click here.

Australia and the Pacific Region: Joanna Hayter, Australia

“Working with women is central to what drives me and motivates me as a leader. Gender equality is a human right and central to economic and human development but I address this through a feminist view of humanitarianism.”

Joanna Hayter is the Executive Director of International Women’s Development Agency, based in Melbourne, Australia. She heads up the only international development agency in Australia that focuses entirely on women and girls.

Ms. Hayter is a trained nurse and holds a Masters degree in Human Resource Development. She  has worked for international aid and development agencies for 25 years, with a special focus on public health access initiatives for women and children. Her programs and experiences have helped countless women and children access public health services in lieu of traumatic violence.

At the helm of the International Women’s Development Agency, Ms. Hayter has been hugely influential in the region in bringing attention to local issues such as abuse amongst aboriginal women, empowerment of battered partners and full political and civil participation of women in society. The IWDA works and partners with organizations all across Southeast Asia and the Pacific Region to bring programs to women who would previously not have received these life-changing resources. In addition to their own multitude of programs, IWDA collaborates on specific projects including building a safe house for abused Cambodian women, female mentoring programs to keep girls in school and pursuing careers and producing a documentary about women’s role in peace building in Papua New Guinea.

As International Women’s Day approached, IWDA has partnered with Nicholas Kristof’s organization Half the Sky to put on a concert featuring Australian talent. 100% of the proceeds from the show will go to benefit IWDA’s partners in the region.

Joanna’s out-of-the-box approach to fundraising and partnering with small organizations to support women across Southeast Asia and the Pacific region is so inspirational to us here at Joyful Heart, and we admire her deeply for her long-standing service and commitment to supporting women.

To read more about the work the International Women’s Development Agency does in the Southeast Asian and Pacific Region, click here.

Asia: Reecha Upadhyay, India

“We can’t be on the streets physically every day, but surely there’s something we can do. I felt the need to continue the movement to demand safety for women.”

Based out of New Delhi, Reecha Upadhyay is a filmmaker and co-founder of the Jamun Collective. She works to shed light and document humanitarian issues all across the globe, and most recently was one of five women who organized the “One Billion Rising: India” flash dance mob in New Delhi, India to protest sexual assault and violence against women.

This event took on special meaning in New Delhi, as it was the recent site of the brutal rape of a young student that garnered media attention all across the world. Ms. Upadhyay and her colleagues united thousands of Indians across the city to peacefully protest this and all other forms of violence against women via dance. They joined together to encourage women to flood the streets and claim their rights to march, dance and sing in the streets without being fearful for their safety.

Prior to the day of action, Ms. Upadhyay traveled around and documented local women “rising up” to combat domestic violence and sexual assault by video. By filming simple stories, she provided a medium for survivors and those affected by violence to speak up and have a voice in the movement. Her promotional videos featuring young Indian women now have over 40,000 views on YouTube, and were a huge part of garnering buzz around the event. Ms. Upadhyay’s short video and her group were featured in The New York Times for their significance and impact.

Formerly based in New York, Reecha has a long history entrenched in human rights issues. She has partnered with the United Nations Development Program on conflict and disaster prevention and recovery in Geneva, South Sudan and New Delhi. She has also been based in Thailand and Nepal. She implemented “Stop Rape Now” campaign and works to develop communications strategies for important issues.

Through telling stories of those touched by violence and giving young women everywhere a peaceful medium to exercise their joyful right to dance and sing without fear, Reecha Upadhyay is an exemplary role model of positive activism and we are grateful for the addition of her voice to the global cause of ending violence against women.

To read about Reecha Upadhyay’s involvement with One Billion Rising and watch her videos, click here.

When the U.S. Congress enacted the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in 1994, it revolutionized community and government responses to domestic violence and sexual assault across the nation. Since that time, each reauthorization of VAWA has expanded its focus—to include dating violence and stalking, to create and enhance prevention and education programs, to train and coordinate law enforcement, courts, prosecutors and victim services in their response to violence against women and children.

Unfortunately, Congress again made history in 2012 when it failed—for the first time ever—to pass the latest reauthorization of VAWA. With the expiration of the reauthorization bill, funding for existing programs and services for survivors of violence will continue under the 2005 reauthorization. This funding arrangement will make it difficult for many organizations to maintain their current levels of programming and services, especially with ever-tightening national, state and local budgets. The expiration of the 2012 reauthorization also represents a missed opportunity to make VAWA more comprehensive, including provisions for housing, campus-based services and greater protections for certain vulnerable communities.

Why? We ask it all the time: Why is the sky blue? Why didn’t she call me back? Why do I have such a hard time being disciplined? Why did that man kill all those innocent children? Why did I get abused? It is the ultimate question resulting in what we hope to be the ultimate answer to bring us some form of closure and comfort. Sometimes it does, but most of the time we are left many years later asking the same questions and still wondering why.

In my experience, allowing oneself to ask “why” can often lead down a dark and unproductive road. Of course I do not mean to say that the question of “why” is wrong because it most certainly is not. In a similar manner drinking alcohol is not wrong, yet if one ingests it in vast amounts and too often, a destructive and unproductive life may be the result. When we are intent on knowing why something happened and demand an answer, yet find none, depression, anger and resentment all too easily can find a new home deep in our hearts.

When it comes to issues of evil being displayed in this world, I turn to my faith and to my God. One of the greatest and most important truths to intimately know as a Christian is that God truly is a good father. When evil happens it is never a result of God’s hand.

Organizations like 1in6, even though they are not religiously affiliated are, I believe, used by God to extend his compassion, love and restoration to men like me who have been victims of the evil of child abuse. I am so very thankful for the people in my life that have been vessels of God’s love and friendship to me during my several year trial when dealing with my abuse.

I don’t know why I was abused, but I do know that God is a good father, that he loves me and that his desire is to bring peace, love and restoration to every person and to every wound no matter how deep.

--By Aaron Kesseler

Aaron Kesseler was born in 1986, married the love of his life in 2010 and is currently working for his step-father’s commercial heating business in Seattle, WA. After high school he attended Northwest University in Kirkland for two years. Aaron has volunteered as a camp counselor for five years with the Muscular Dystrophy Association Summer Camp as well as three years with Royal Family Kids Camp, a summer camp for the most abused and neglected children in the area.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

A note from Joyful Heart: Faith and a spiritual connection to a higher power can be a powerful source of hope and healing. No matter your beliefs and what forms your practice of spirituality may take, we invite you to explore your faith on your healing journey in a way that is comfortable to you.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

We begin this New Year with a much greater awareness within our communities than just a year ago about the frequency at which boys are subjected to unwanted or abusive sexual experiences. But perhaps even more importantly in terms of healing for those boys—and the men they become—in the past year, we’ve seen men speaking more openly about their efforts to overcome the harmful impacts of those childhood experiences. Every word that diminishes the sense of isolation and shame about abusive experiences, which many men have silently carried through their adult lives, potentially opens a door to recovery. As we enter 2013, we have a very different context for addressing sexual abuse of boys than ever before.

The courageous testimony from the men who were abused by Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky, though painful to hear, opened a floodgate of disclosures from men and women abused by individuals in positions of power – coaches, teachers, clergy and others. In recognition of the failures it made in addressing the clear signs of Sandusky’s abuse of boys in his care, Penn State has undertaken an intensive self assessment and consulted with numerous experts to determine the best ways to prevent future abuse and to support those who have already experienced abuse.

Even the NCAA has initiated a widespread effort to address the impact and prevention of sexual abuse through a $50 million fine imposed on Penn State.

The public’s response to revelations about decades of sexual abuse reports covered up by the Boy Scouts of America might have been very different without the heightened awareness brought by the media coverage of the Sandusky trial. Again, the realization for each of the boys who was abused that he is not one, but instead, one of many, will make it easier to acknowledge the experience and to seek help for any negative consequences.

Within the same context, Major League knuckle-ball pitcher and 2012 Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey wrote about his recovery from childhood sexual abuse in his autobiography “Wherever I Wind Up: My Quest for Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball.” His willingness to include those experiences in his life story and his reflections on the success and peace that he brought to his life, in part by finally facing the painful memories about his childhood, have, no doubt, been an inspiration to many.

Another memoir published in 2012, “Nice to Meet Me” by Chris Carlton, walks readers through the first 15 months of his healing journey, in a clear, insightful, humble and humorous style.

And Dr. Howard Fradkin’s newly released book on recovery “Joining Forces, Empowering Male Survivors to Thrive” is written with the goal of providing tools for male survivors of sexual victimization to develop skills they can use to overcome the effects of trauma and learn to thrive in their lives. In the book, Fradkin describes his own process of recovery from childhood sexual abuse and uses the voices of 20 other men who have worked through their healing.

So let’s hope that when we look back on 2013, we’ll be able to see it as the tipping point year, when individual’s, families’ and communities’ support for men’s willingness to seek help to recover from unwanted or abusive childhood sexual experiences became the norm, rather than the exception.

–By Peter Pollard

Peter Pollard is the Training and Outreach Director for 1in6, Inc. Peter previously worked for 15 years as a state, child-protection social worker and was the Public Education director at Stop It Now! Since 2003, he has served as the Western Massachusetts coordinator for SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) and also does work for a Certified Batterers Intervention Program.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.