News & Events
1in6 Thursday: Unveiling the Taboo: Days of Dialogue to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse
Nov 29th
Unveiling The Taboo, the title of four recent days of dialogue in Los Angeles, was designed to do just that—give people from the diverse communities of LA an opportunity to come together and discuss openly the issues surrounding the taboo topic of child sexual abuse with an eye of mobilizing the community toward prevention. These days of dialogue were spearheaded by 1in6, the Institute on Non-Violence in Los Angeles and Peace Over Violence, and produced in collaboration with 12 other community partners and with 22 Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Advisory Council Members. Each of these facilitated discussions, which brought 120 individuals from 4 different sites together for the first time, was opened up by a survivor of child sexual assault speaking from the heart of their own experience. We were intent on making sure that the voices of survivors were present: front and center to the discussion. Some common trends and recommendations surfaced in the groups.
One of the recurrent ideas was to encourage more “talking about it.” Many of the survivors, law enforcement officers and parents were grateful for a place to break out of the silence and discuss the subject openly and to connect with others who care about this issue. One participant stated, “if you don’t know how talk about it, you will never see it—even if it’s right in front of you.” Some people expressed not knowing the extent of sexual abuse of boys until the most recent information coming out post Penn State and the Sandusky trial and the scandal with the Boy Scouts.
The dialogues reinforced the need for multiple strategies to energize a movement to end child sexual abuse. Everyone agreed that the prevention of child sexual abuse is ultimately an adult responsibility but that education for children and adolescents as well as adults is essential. Creating better protocols for reporting and the systems response to reporting was also brought up as well as the need for institutional accountability. The discussions about re-evaluating the current strategies in dealing with perpetrators produced a lot of energy, questions and concerns as to the effectiveness of some of the practices such as lumping all offenders from flashers to serial rapists into the same category.
The complexity of the issue became more and more evident as the dialogues progressed. Many questions were raised and there were no answers. But perhaps that is the best beginning of all—to come from a place of questioning, of openness, of not knowing, yet willing to listen and exchange ideas and experiences from a place of respect. Sometimes we force the answers and wind up making things worse. That didn’t happen at these days of dialogues. People came together, mostly strangers and talked about a sensitive, sometimes personal and still taboo subject. Many of the participants stated that they want the dialogues to continue and engage more deeply within the communities. Several offered to bring the dialogues into their neighborhoods, places of worship, community centers and schools.
Perhaps this can be the beginning of a more engaged movement of communities coming together to question, discuss, share and learn together and eventually we will find better answers on how to protect children than we seem to have at our disposal now. One thing for sure that everyone agreed upon: the voices of all survivors, male, female and trans-gender need to be front and center!
–By Patti Giggans
Patti Giggans is the Executive Director of Peace Over Violence. Peace Over Violence is dedicated to building healthy relationships, families and communities free from sexual, domestic and interpersonal violence. She is also the Vice-President of the Board of Directors for 1in6.
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.
The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.
Celebrate the Holidays with Joyful Heart’s Gifts that Give Back
Nov 20th
This holiday season, celebrate your loved ones with special gifts of joy from our Heartshop.
Ju
st in time for the holidays, Me&Ro has created the new Fearlessness Tag Pendant, which is available for both women and men. The tag pendant brings a graceful twist and a smaller size to the classic dog tag design. It is engraved with “Fearlessness” as a reminder that embracing fearlessness inspires one to approach life with an open heart and to be strong in the face of life’s adversities. The unisex tag pendant is available with a silver or gold slate on chain or with a silver slate on cotton cord. Prices range from $130 – $1,030 and with 100% of the net proceeds benefiting Joyful Heart, the Fearlessness Tag Pendant is sure to be a heart-warming memento.
With additional inspiring and one-of-a-kind Heartshop products ranging from accessories to gourmet treats, you’re sure to find the perfect gift for anyone on your list.
Fran’s Chocolates’ “Box of Joy” is the sweetest way to celebrate the holidays. The delicious assortment of Gray Salt Caramels in dark chocolate, Smoked Salt Caramels in milk chocolate and Dark Chocolate Hearts is wrapped in a beautiful brown linen box and 50% of net proceeds are donated to Joyful Heart. $50
The Me&Ro Fearlessness Tube Bracelet is the perfect gift for the men in your life this holiday season. As the first product designed specifically for an in support of men since the launch of the Me&Ro and Joyful Heart partnership, this tube bracelet honors the important men in our lives as well as the men who are a part of the movement to end violence and abuse against women and children. 100% of the net proceeds benefit Joyful Heart. $100
Michael Stars has brought back the ever-popular, limited edition Joyful Heart tee, which features a metallic heart made up of empowering words such as Love, Heal and Survival. For every tee purchased, Michael Stars will donate another tee to a survivor of violence or abuse and will contribute $5 to Joyful Heart. $64
A handwritten card is always a treasured keepsake and a thoughtful way to express your gratitude for gifts you received during the holiday season. Tiny Pine Press cards are a beautifully crafted way to spread the message of gratitude with a delicate Swarovski crystal on the front. All proceeds from each sale benefit Joyful Heart’s programming and the survivors we serve. $24
Are you particularly thankful to someone this year? Honor that special person through a gift to the Joyful Heart Foundation. A contribution in a friend’s name is the perfect way to say “I’m grateful from the bottom of my joyful heart.”
For even more joyful gift ideas, visit the Heartshop.
How We Can Turn Towards Domestic Violence the Rest of the Year
Nov 16th
“My wife and I were at a dinner in Washington DC earlier this year—it was a cancer event—and this woman sat down and said ‘Nice to meet you I’m so and so, and I’m a 30 year cancer survivor.’ That wasn’t all that she was, but that was simply part of what she had gone through and that’s why she was there. Our vision is that is that someday someone will be able to sit down at a table and say ‘I’m a survivor of sexual abuse; I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse; I’m a survivor of rape’, and not have the needle skip off the record and have the person sitting across from them not know what to say. Because it’s not what defines them, it’s simply something that happened to them and it’s not their fault and they don’t need to carry the shame. It’s an unjust stigma in the sense that the shame belongs to the perpetrator and not the victim.”—Peter Hermann, founding Joyful Heart Board member
Every time I read this quote, I think long and hard about Peter’s words—about what it means to really turn towards these issues and about what it would be like if we, collectively, really saw surviving abuse or assault in the same way we see surviving something like cancer. Without blame, stigma or shame. Unafraid to listen to someone’s story and unafraid to say “no more.”
Every year, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). (Coincidentally, it also happens to be Breast Cancer Awareness Month.) Domestic Violence Awareness Month is one filled with rallies, marches, speak outs and awareness events of all kinds, many with purple ribbons and many with first appearances of the NO MORE symbol. It was a month in which we collectively turned towards an issue that affects 1 in 3 women—the number who are raped, physically assaulted or stalked by a husband or boyfriend in their lifetime—and the 15 million children who witness violence in their homes each year.
In October, staff members at Joyful Heart were proud to participate in the second Shine the Light in Times Square event. We stood with advocates, bystanders and elected officials, including Manhattan Borough President Scott M. Stringer, Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance, Tony Award-winning playwright Eve Ensler, representatives from the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and many others, to literally shine the light on domestic violence, watching as billboards in all directions in the world-famous Times Square lit up purple with messages of support for those affected by domestic violence.
The NASDAQ billboard turns purple for the Shine the Light event in Times Square.
Shine the Light in Times Square.
Shine the Light in Times Square.
Across the country, the lights at LAX International Airport turn purple in honor of DVAM. Photo Courtesy of the City of Los Angeles.
The Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles turns purple in honor of DVAM. Photo Courtesy of the City of Los Angeles.
Photo Courtesy of the City of Los Angeles.
The most inspiring things about events like this one is that they bring issues that are so often kept hidden in the shadows out of the darkness and into the light, something that Joyful Heart believes deeply in doing. So as we move into November and the other 10 months of the year, we’d like to share some of the many other ways to turn towards these issues.
Say “NO MORE”
NO MORE is a movement to end domestic violence and sexual assault with one uniting symbol, like the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon, the red AIDS ribbon or the yellow “support our troops” symbol. In just two simple words, NO MORE is exactly what we’re trying to say: NO MORE domestic violence and sexual assault. NO MORE blaming survivors. NO MORE doing nothing. NO MORE silence. NO MORE bystanding.
In 2013, NO MORE is officially launching to the public and we’re proud to play a big role in rolling it out. You can join the movement and help bring the symbol to your community in the following ways:
- Download the toolkit and use the NO MORE symbol—on your correspondence, on banners and posters, on pins and t-shirts and anything else you can think of. It’s yours to use and share.
- Follow NO MORE on Facebook and Twitter, and sign up to receive updates on the movement at www.nomore.org.
- Add your photo to the NO MORE photo gallery. Through this simple act—uploading a photo and a message—we’re truly delivering a powerful message that you’re not alone and that we say “no more.”
Use Your Voice
We’re proud to partner with The Verizon Foundation, A CALL TO MEN, NO MORE and sportscaster James Brown to spread the message that Your Voice Counts to end domestic violence. Though women and children represent the majority of victims of domestic violence, men are affected as well—as victims, as perpetrators and as witnesses and bystanders. Engaging men is an important part of the movement to address, prevent and—one day—end domestic violence.
The Your Voice Counts campaign invites men to join the conversation to end domestic violence with specific tools aimed at giving men resources and information to speak out against this issue. Take a look at James Brown’s message:
We invite you to share this resource. Pass it on to those in your life—friends, family and colleagues. It’s sometimes easy to think that domestic violence happens to other people who are far removed from our own communities. But when 1 in 3 women are raped, physically assaulted or stalked by a partner, it’s clear that this happens all around us. So please, share this resource and use these tools. Your Voice Counts.
Play with 1BlueString
We also know that 1 in 6 men are survivors of an unwanted or abusive sexual experience in childhood. To raise awareness about this devastating statistic, Joyful Heart is honored to support 1BlueString, an innovative and exciting new awareness campaign from our partner, 1in6, a leading organization providing information and resources to the 1 in 6 men who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse and their family, friends and loved ones.
The concept for 1BlueString is simple: get the string at 1BlueString.org for your electric or acoustic guitar (or both), switch it in for your low E string and when you play—whether you’re jamming with a friend or playing in front of dozens, hundreds or thousands of people, share the 1 in6 statistic. Learn more here on the blog and at 1BlueString.org
1in6 Thursday: 1BlueString – An awareness Campaign from 1in6
Nov 1st
We are proud to announce our first awareness campaign, 1BlueString. This campaign is aimed at raising awareness for the 1 in 6 men who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Our 1BlueString campaign is simple. We are asking guitarists at all levels to replace their low E guitar string (one of six strings) with one of our free, blue guitar string to symbolize the 1 in 6 men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood.
Simply go to 1BlueString.org and register to receive free blue strings (acoustic or electric) and free picks. Send us your name and address and we’ll rush them to you—at no cost.
In return, we’re asking that you:
- Play with 1BlueString, sharing the statistic that 1 in 6 men in the U.S. have faced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences before the age of 18.
- Share photos. If you feel comfortable, please upload a photo showing you and your blue string at 1BlueString.org. This is the engine for our campaign. Then click to share via Facebook, Twitter or Google+ to let others see your support.
- Share our resources. Nearly 19 million men in the U.S. have unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in their past and some are in need of support. 1in6.org is the most comprehensive site in the world, providing unparalleled resources for men and their loved ones. Please do whatever you can to let others know about this incredible resource.
- Promote holiday giving that supports our efforts. 1in6 has a text-2-give number set up for micro-donations to support our work. You and others can text “STRING” to 80888 to make a $10 donation, or just direct people to the donate page at 1BlueString.org where you can make a donation of any amount.
Thank you for helping to raise awareness of the 1 in 6.
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
JHF and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative here.
The views expressed above are not necessarily those of Joyful Heart or 1in6.
1in6 Thursday: “I’ll Never Forgive You.”
Oct 25th
For several days, one sentence has continued to trouble me: “I’ll never forgive you.” Those words were spoken by the man identified only as Victim 4 at the Jerry Sandusky sentencing on October 9, 2012. His words say several things to me.
The most obvious is that he expresses the pain that comes from betrayal. At the trial itself, Victim 4 and other survivors referred to the gifts and personal attentiveness from Sandusky, who became their role model. Then came the molestation. Until it began, Sandusky may have probably been the most trusted man in their lives. His wooing them through seductive actions and evil motives caused an unrelenting pain that still remains.
Perhaps the words are also an unconscious cry to the perpetrator to admit what he did. If I faced my perpetrator and shouted those words, it would signify a plea: “Please tell me you’re sorry for how deeply you wounded me. Help me understand why you hurt me.” When the victimizer is someone we admire and love, the hurt becomes far more intense.
The words also speak of despair. What Victim 4 lost as a boy—his innocence—won’t ever be restored, even if his perpetrator confesses. As a survivor of sexual molestation, I know how abuse affects us for life. We can be emotionally shattered and unable to trust others. We can be suspicious of the motives when someone treats us kindly. We can push away many good people because one bad person took advantage of our naïveté and youth.
Possibly the words are also a threat. It’s as if to say, “You want absolution for your wrongdoing but you’ll never, never get it from me.” They seem like words to withhold forgiveness and that will punish the guilty. The words mean we carry the pain and refuse to offer compassion for the wrongdoer. I call myself a serious Christian, and many of my peers would jump on Victim 4′s words and insist, “You must forgive him.” But if I could speak to Victim 4, I’d say, “Feel your pain. You don’t have to release it until you’re ready. As you move forward in your own healing, perhaps the day will come when you’ll shed your anger and freely offer your forgiveness, even if you never tell him.”
“Number 4, grieve as long as you need to. There’s no need to push yourself toward letting go. If and when you’re ready, you won’t need prodding.”
–By Cecil Murphey.
Cecil Murphey is the author of When a Man You Love Was Abused. His follow-up book, Not Quite Healed will be released in February 2013. He is also the author or co-author of more than 100 books including The New York Times’ best-seller 90 Minutes in Heaven.
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
JHF and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative here.
The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.
1in6 Thursday: Men Who were Abused as Boys
Oct 18th
Men who were abused as boys were abused by individuals, not by a caricature. I find it disheartening that some have suggested we have to work hard to protect our children from other “Sanduskys.”
It seems to me that using the name of Jerry Sandusky, perhaps the most high profile child abuser to have been convicted in quite some time, creates a caricature of what is a horrible crime committed against a person. Of the hundreds of thousands of men who access our website annually, I doubt that even one would want to describe the person who abused him as a generic ‘Sandusky.’ Even though stories of child abuse rise to such a highly public level just once every couple of years, it’s estimated that 1 in 6 men and 1 in 4 women are survivors of an unwanted or abusive sexual experience in childhood. It happens every day. Every year. The men, and sometimes women, older boys or girls who hurt them have real names, real personalities, real connections to the child who was victimized. In some cases, they are family members or other trusted persons and what happened to their victims was life-altering and profoundly hurtful.
To take it further, there are over 25,000 residents of Sandusky, Ohio who no doubt would not want to be included in a broad-brush manner with child sexual abuse and their town. Or, the almost 3,000 families in our country who have the last name Sandusky. One such family is the Gerry Sandusky family in the Baltimore area. In fact, this Gerry with a “G” not Jerry with a “J” Sandusky made one of the most powerful and poignant statements about what happened to the survivors of abuse at the hands of Jerry Sandusky of Penn State, in an interview with Rick Reilly on ESPN.
Gerry with a “G” Sandusky gets it. It’s about individuals who were abused by other individuals – complex, sometimes delusional, sometimes cruel, selfish or even violent individuals, but not the caricatured monsters that we find it so easy to paint the people who sexually abuse children to be.
To close, may I suggest that we call those that abuse with a description of their actions– their offense? Saying, “the person who sexually abused those children” or “the coach who sexually assaulted a child in his care” captures the magnitude of the betrayal and the gravity of the crime and not just a generalization of the experiences of the 19 million American men who have been sexually abused as children, or the easy caricaturization of the moment.
Please note that these words are my own and not those of the organization that I founded and run today.
- By Steve LePore
Steve LePore is the Founder and Executive Director of 1in6.
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.
The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.
Talking about Tonic Immobility on Tonight’s SVU
Oct 10th
On tonight’s episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, you’ll hear the SVU squad talking about a topic few people do, something called tonic immobility. It sounds complicated, but it’s one of the body’s most basic responses—the “freeze response”—that happens when an individual is in danger.
In today’s post, Dr. Rebecca Campbell, professor of community psychology at Michigan State University, discusses tonic immobility in the context of sexual assault. We invite you to watch this episode tonight at 9/8c and learn more about tonic immobility, why it happens and why it’s helpful for us to talk about it.
Fight, flight, or . . . freeze? Yes. Freeze.
Many people have heard of “fight or flight,” which is a way our bodies respond to very threatening, stressful situations. It’s a biological response in mammals, including humans, that involves gearing up the body to either fight back against the threat or flee from the threatening situation. When the mind recognizes a situation as very threatening to the physical well-being, emotional well-being or even the very survival of the organism, the brain triggers the body to release adrenal hormones, sometimes referred to as “stress hormones.” These hormones are what give the body the energy and wherewithal to fight back or get away to safety.
But sometimes, the sudden release of high levels of stress hormones triggers an entirely different reaction: freeze. When this happens, the body can’t move and won’t move—arms and legs don’t fight back and they don’t carry the body away to safety.
Why? Why would the body freeze in a threatening situation?
Good question.
Research studies with animals have documented that sometimes the best way to protect the body is to freeze, to play dead, fighting back or fleeing would only prolong the threat and endanger the body even worse (maybe even risk death). In other words, sometimes the safest solution isn’t fight-or-flight. The safest option is to freeze and so the brain and body work together—to hold the organism still until the threat has passed.
So, which one? When will the body fight? Flight? Freeze?
Researchers have not yet determined why animals or humans respond with which strategy—in which situation. What is clear is that all three are normal, biological responses to threatening encounters. Researchers have determined that these responses are autonomic, which means they happen automatically without conscious thought or decision making. In other words, we don’t get to pause and think about these three different options; the brain picks one quickly and goes with it. It’s not something we get to decide. It’s not something we get to choose. Thinking it over—weighing the pros and cons might take too long—and that could endanger the survival of the organism, so the brain is hard-wired to make a decision and go with it.
The technical term for the “freeze response” is tonic immobility (TI).
During an episode of tonic immobility, a person enters into a temporary state of paralysis. Typically, this means that the individual can’t move his/her arms, legs, hands, feet, etc. The person is frozen and may appear to be dead. Tonic immobility may last for only few moments, or for several minutes, or for much longer periods of time. During the episode, the person may be aware of what’s happening to them and may also understand that he/she cannot move.
Recently, researchers discovered that some rape and sexual assault victims experience tonic immobility during the attack. Tonic Immobility can happen whether the assailant is a stranger to the victim, or whether it is someone she/he knows. Victims who experience tonic immobility during the assault freeze. They can’t move, they can’t fight back, they can’t flee. And after the trauma, a person can have difficulty remembering specific details of the event, especially when they freeze while it’s happening.
It’s important to remember that tonic immobility is an autonomic response, victims don’t decide to do this; it’s an automatic response of the brain and body, working together to try to protect the survival of the organism.
Tonic immobility can be extremely frightening and confusing to rape and sexual assault victims. Why did I freeze? Why couldn’t I move? Why couldn’t I scream? Why didn’t I fight back? Why was I just stuck there? It’s not uncommon for victims to blame themselves for this response, often because they don’t understand why they did what they did. And often, not remembering the details of how things happened can bring up feelings of shame, especially when questioned by others. Most people don’t know about the “freeze response.” Most people don’t know that research now tells us that “fight or flight” is actually “fight, flight or freeze.” The freeze response, also called called tonic immobility, has been documented in many research studies with sexual assault victims. It is very real, it is very normal, it is completely biological and it is not something victims can control. Nor is their fault.
In my career as a research psychologist, I have had an opportunity to interview many rape survivors who experienced tonic immobility during the assault. None of them ever knew why they froze and because of that—they carried within them tremendous guilt and confusion. When I’ve told them that what they experienced sounds like tonic immobility, and when I’ve described to them what tonic immobility is, they are astounded. Some survivors cry in relief, some have jumped up and hugged me, some have sat there in disbelief, asking me to explain it over and over again, just to be sure. To know that this is something normal—something that happens to many survivors and it’s not their fault—is incredibly freeing and healing. It can help make one part of a terrible—traumatic crime—a bit more understandable.
I have also had the opportunity to talk with police officers, detectives, nurses, doctors, and rape victim advocates about these issues. Many of these professionals are not aware of “fight-flight-or-freeze” or if they are, they don’t know that research now shows that some rape and sexual assault victims experience the “freeze response” during the attack. Unfortunately, there are still too many instances where our helping professionals blame victims for tonic immobility and add to victims’shame, guilt, and self-blame. However, as legal and medical system personnel learn about Tonic Immobility, they are able to help victims understand what has happened to them and help them along their journey of healing.
Dr. Rebecca Campbell is a professor of community psychology and program evaluation at Michigan State University. Her research focuses on violence against women—specifically sexual assault and how the legal, medical, and mental systems respond to the needs of rape survivors. She is the author of Emotionally Involved: The Impact of Researching Rape (2002, Routledge), which won the 2002 Distinguished Publication Award from the Association for Women in Psychology. Dr. Campbell has been active in the anti-violence social movement since 1989 and has spent 10 years working as a volunteer rape victim advocate in hospital emergency departments.
For more information on tonic immobility and the body’s response to trauma, Joyful Heart recommends the following resources:
In An Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness
By Peter Levine
Body Breath and Consciousness: A Somatic Anthology
By Ian Macnaughton
Healing from Trauma: A Survivor’s Guide to Understanding Your Symptoms and Reclaiming Your Life
By Jasmin Lee Cori
1in6 Thursday: Worse Than Denial – Institutional Betrayal
Oct 4th
After The LA Times reported that between 1965 and 1985 The Boys Scouts of America took very little or no action about suspected child sexual abuse, it announced it would review 5,000 cases spanning the past fifty years. The Times investigation found that Scouts’ officials did not report to police hundreds of cases of alleged sexual abuse and that as many as 1,662 male child victims were impacted. This scandal will continue to make headlines as hundreds of files are released from the BSA’s own collection of cases known as “perversion files.”
It is increasingly difficult to comprehend the enormity of the continued unfolding of inaction and unwillingness to protect children through intentional cover-up and denial. Indeed, these revelations are worse than denial, these are acts of institutional betrayal. The protection of predators and the preservation of reputations supersede a most fundamental human impulse of caring for children. Part of me screams ”What were they thinking?” while another part seeks to understand how and why major respected institutions like The Boy Scouts of America, Penn State University, The Catholic Church, public school districts and elite private schools (and the list goes on) could betray their own missions and reasons for existence. Leaders seem to have no problem compromising their own integrity when faced with the issue of child sexual abuse.
As a longtime advocate for sexual assault victim/survivors, women, men and children I have thought a lot about this. Perhaps we are not yet asking the right questions. Perhaps the cultural restraints of talking about sex and sexuality play a deeper role than we wish to acknowledge on the topic of child sexual abuse and sexual violence. It seems that there is a huge gap between being able to discuss sex frankly and in healthy ways, while at the same time the wider culture supports the early sexualization and commodification of girls and boys in media and advertising.
During this prolonged recession the one industry that is thriving is the porn industry. On the one hand sex is exploited commercially to sell every product imaginable, yet youth in high school are deprived of being taught the facts about their own biology and about healthy sexuality. Parents continue to lack the support and guidance to discuss these still quite sensitive topics with their children. I am entertaining the notion that until we break through our personal discomforts, cultural taboos, and reluctance to talk about sex and sexuality in all of its complexity in healthy ways, we will continue to see the proliferation of sexual abuse along with inappropriate, ineffective and harmful responses to it. For an issue like child sexual abuse – where no one is for it and everyone is against it – it is curious that we do so little to prevent it.
There are questions we are not asking, conversations we are not having. The Boy Scouts of America had a rule of excluding gay men and boys from participating while at the same time collecting files on alleged abusers and doing nothing about it. I am wondering about this but have seen little reporting on this conundrum of the organizational culture. For sure, homophobia prevents honest discussions and explorations of sexuality. What are the other discussions that we are not having? Until we break through these fears and denials, I am afraid we will continue to witness and suffer betrayal from our most trusted institutions.
–By Patti Giggans
Patti Giggans is the Executive Director of Peace Over Violence. Peace Over Violence is dedicated to building healthy relationships, families and communities free from sexual, domestic and interpersonal violence. She is also the Vice-President of the Board of Directors for 1in6.
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.
The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.