News & Events

1in6 Thursday: After Jerry Sandusky…A Way Forward

The trial of Jerry Sandusky focused the country’s attention on the sexual abuse of boys. It also showcased the tremendous courage of the young men who came forward who testified in court and in so doing, spoke powerfully to their own truths, and also to the larger truth of the sexual victimization of male children.

In conversation with Dr. David Lisak, a founding board member of 1in6, he reminded us that, “It’s important to remember that the jury’s verdict in this case does not control the healing process for any survivor. I hope that men who have been harmed by sexual abuse, and those who care for them, will use this moment to take a step on their own path toward healing. Talk to a loved one. Visit the 1in6 web site. Find a therapist. Take the next step.”

The conviction of Sandusky powerfully validates the truth that was so courageously spoken by the young men who testified in that Pennsylvania courtroom. It also validates the reality of the sexual abuse of male children and it further focuses the attention and the national conversation that have resulted from the prosecution of Jerry Sandusky. The Penn State case, driven by the courage of the survivors, has advanced the country’s understanding of the sexual abuse of boys, and in so doing it has given hope to countless boys and young men who otherwise may have remained isolated and alone.

In the wake of this case, it is important to redouble our efforts, as survivors and on behalf of survivors. More than ever, we must reach out to young men who may have been victims of sexual abuse; we must be receptive to disclosures; we must be ready as professionals to provide care and treatment to survivors who seek help.

And we must, once and for all, leave behind the old stereotypes and misconceptions that for too long have hidden the sexual abuse of boys from our collective consciousness.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

1in6 Thursday: The Sandusky Salvo

Last November, as news of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal broke, I was glued to the television, virtually immobile, as I saw the horrific memories of my childhood run parallel to the modern-day storyline. The media barrage was bitter-sweet. On the one hand, the coverage validated my pain, giving me a glimpse at hope for our society to finally lend this type of unforgivable crime the worldwide attention it deserves. On the other, it crippled me to see a student body group rioting in protest of their beloved coach’s downfall, and proud alumni coming to the defense of their former Defensive Coordinator with little-to-no proof of his innocence.

With all of the work I had done, with all of the time spent in therapy and the wisdom it had provided, with all that I had accomplished, with the book I had written about my recovery progress, how could this case leave me feeling so alone and afraid?

That was over six months and thirty therapy sessions ago. Still, I sit here, the television bombing me with defense strategies, opening statements, witness inconsistencies and holes in the prosecution’s case, wondering when I’ll be impervious to this type of emotional invasion. After some time to reflect, I remind myself that wondering is a waste of my time. I know the answer: this struggle is normal for someone like me and that’s alright.

As this case unfolds and as media coverage ignites, there will be millions of men in the United States alone who will be reminded of their unfortunate experiences in childhood. Some will not be affected. Some will side-step the issue. Some will avoid it completely. Some will marvel at their personal recovery progress and roll through their days unscathed. But, there are men who will find themselves triggered by the high-profile, too-close-to-home nature of the case. These men will feel as though they’re in a bunker alone. They will close their eyes and hear the explosions, waiting for the sun to rise and the attack to subside.

I wish I could hand them what I have learned over the years; I wish I could give them the tools I have learned in therapy—the ability to take a deep breath, to reflect. Many haven’t been given the chance to receive the treatment I have. The wounds seem too deep, the resources too far from grasp, the perspective undiscovered.

So, where does that leave me? Well…hopeful. Not for me—I feel like one of the lucky ones; I’ve found help. I’m hopeful for the men who have yet to reach out for help because what they need is right at their fingertips. The resources they believe are unattainable are within sight. The next three weeks of media bombardment need not be sustained alone and without defense—the bunker is much stronger, much larger and much fuller than anyone might think. To feel less alone and to get a glimpse at some of the millions strong in this bunker, visit 1in6.org/men/other-guys-like-me/.

–By Chris Carlton

Chris Carlton is the Development Director at 1in6. He is the author of Nice To Meet Me, a book that chronicles his journey through therapy for sexual abuse in an effort to help fellow abuse survivors and those who love them better understand the process of recovery.  Chris is a former U.S. Navy intelligence officer and advertising executive living in Richmond, Virginia.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6′s mission also includes serving family members, friends and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.

IMG_0176

There Is No Excuse—On Denim Day or Any Day

As you know, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. And this year, Joyful Heart partnered with dozens of organizations, community-based programs and government officials to turn towards the issue of sexual assault in New York City with Denim Day.

Denim Day is an award-winning annual sexual violence prevention and education campaign started by our Los Angeles-based partner, Peace Over Violence. It grew out of a 1990s Italian Supreme Court case in which the Court’s decision overturned a rape conviction because the victim wore tight jeans. The judges reasoned the victim’s tight jeans meant that she had to have helped her assailant remove them, implying consent. People all over the world were outraged, and wearing jeans became an international symbol of protest against erroneous and destructive attitudes and myths surrounding sexual assault. Last year, more than 2.6 million people participated in Denim Day throughout the U.S.

This year is New York’s third year participating in Denim Day campaign and Joyful Heart is so proud to have joined the coalition. In addition to activities, workshops and programs happening throughout all five boroughs for youth and adults on Denim Day, we held a press conference on the steps of City Hall yesterday to kick off our coalition’s Denim Day events.

Manhattan Borough President Scott M. Stringer kicks off the Denim Day NYC 2012 Press Conference.

In addition to our Denim Day organizers the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault, Manhattan Borough President Scott M. Stringer, the St. Luke’s Roosevelt Crime Victims Treatment Center and Start Strong Bronx, we were joined by advocates, youth government officials and individuals who filled the steps of City Hall to bring the message to New york that there is no excuse and never an invitation to rape.

We’re sharing that message nationally too. Yesterday, Mariska penned an op-ed in the Huffington Post with Denim Day founder Patti Giggans. From their article:

The way our society thinks about rape and receives survivors is not only tragic, it’s dangerous. Fearing that they won’t be believed, survivors are less likely to report their rapes, which means rapists stay out of jail, which means they are free to rape again.

Denim Day is about coming together as a community that has no tolerance for sexual violence, a community that commits its resources—intellectual, financial, emotional—to responding differently to survivors and making their healing a priority.

To read the entire article, click here.

We and our partners are also sharing this message in social media (that would be #denimday, if you’re on Twitter) in hospitals and rape crisis programs, offices, schools and colleges throughout the country. Together, we can change these harmful victim-blaming attitudes about sexual violence. We can change the way we think about, respond to and support survivors of sexual assault.

If you are wearing denim today, please be sure you have registered your support on www.denimdayusa.org. We invite you to submit photos of yourself in your denim to blog@joyfulheartfoundation.org and share what you’re doing for Denim Day in the comments below.