Jennifer Fox is an internationally acclaimed producer, director, writer, and camerawoman. The Tale is Fox’s first fiction feature film, which she wrote, directed, and produced. The HBO film is based on Fox’s own life story as the main character, portrayed by Emmy award-winning actress Laura Dern, re-examines her first sexual relationship and the stories we tell ourselves to survive as she rereads a short story from her middle school days. Her groundbreaking films include: Beirut: The Last Home Movie; the 10-hour An American Love Story; the six-part, Flying Confessions of a Free Woman; and the Emmy-nominated feature My Reincarnation. Fox teaches master classes and in Universities internationally. Her films have been shown in numerous retrospectives around the world.

Why did you create The Tale?

I have never seen a film that replicated my experience. Telling a story about child sexual abuse that was authentic to my experience was important to me. I want the audience to see—from the child’s point of view—how a child can get ensnared in a relationship that looks like love to her, but is actually abuse and how as an adult she potentially might not be able to deal with what happened until mid-life. The Tale brings a different telling about child sexual abuse into the world. It is much more complicated, nuanced, and messy than the stories we usually read about or see in the news.

Some of the scenes are very graphic and detailed. Why was it important to you to portray the abuse as opposed to simply implying it?

In many portrayals of child sexual abuse the adult and the child walk into the room, a door closes, the scene fades out, and the audience is allowed to imagine what happens after the door closes. Frankly, all the horror is not being shown. As a survivor, for me it was very important to show how difficult, painful, and grotesque it was—the actual abuse—to open up the dialogue and have people face the actual truth of child sexual abuse. For example, I wanted people to see me vomiting after every encounter with Bill.

We worked from the beginning to make sure these scenes and the film were handled thoughtfully. We have an advisory board full of psychiatrists, child advocates, lawyers, and adolescent health experts on these scenes and the film. If a person is triggered by the film, the hotline number for RAINN is featured on the HBO website for the film for people to call and get support. We want to take care of our viewers. We created a home screening guide and a facilitators’ guide that provides information about working with the film to help people and to create dialogue. On the thetalemovie.com we’re planning to feature resources people can search for, including Joyful Heart, RAINN, and Planned Parenthood.

What was your experience working on the film and having to relive those moments?

It was not exactly as you might imagine because when I see the film, those aren’t my exact memories. Making the film has been interesting. I have the great gift in life to be able to explore something that is very important to me; it is something many people don’t have the ability to do. I was able to explore what happened to me in the film and in doing so, it helped me face new parts of those events and to unpack new narratives about its effect on me.

In the film, your character writes a story about her abuse as a school assignment. The teacher who reads the story does not intervene. Looking back, how do you think your experience might have been different if an adult had stepped in to help?

First of all, to be fair to the teacher and to my parents, this happened in 1973 and nobody was talking about sexual abuse at the time. Teachers weren’t on guard for it like they are now. My teacher wrote that if this story is true it’s a travesty, but since you are so well-adjusted it can’t be true. The teacher wasn’t educated to know that kids can seem one way but in reality terrible things are happening to them. 

It depends on the behavior of the teacher and the other adults at that time. Sometimes I think the best-meaning adults can make things worse for a child by forcing them into a mode of being a victim and forcing them to tell their story over and over again when maybe they’re not ready. On the one hand, if I had the strength to come forward then maybe I could have stopped Bill from hurting other kids. On the other hand, I recognize that facing the truth that it was abuse when I was 13 probably would have killed me. I had to believe I had agency in order to survive and thrive and go on to become a functioning adult. I feel like it’s a very dicey road and adults have to take great care when helping children to confront and face the fact that they were abused. 

I also think it’s highly likely it would have been handled in a bumbling way—one that was hurtful to me—back then. Now there’s a lot more effort put in to caring for the child through the process of disclosure and healing. Back then it simply wasn’t the case. So I didn’t tell, and even though I didn’t call it abuse, I knew I was struggling with what happened.

How did you navigate conversations you had with your mother and partner about your personal experience?

My mom really, really wanted me to tell this story, but not passively. She told me, “You’ve got to make a film about this.” She wanted me to research and meet the the people who were part of my life at that time to learn about their recollections and to see who they had become. As you see in the film, my mother was always pushing me to do this and would call me to ask, “when are you going to do it?” 

Almost every bit of dialogue in the film is taken from transcripts of conversations with my mother. She was a primary force behind me going on this journey in a way that may be surprising. But I think for her, unlike me, she wanted to nail him and would’ve prosecuted him. That isn’t something I would be interested in—ever. 

And the same is true for Martin’s character; many of those conversations are also taken from transcripts of conversations. My partner at the time, who is now my husband, called it rape as well. I was horrified because it wasn’t rape to me, and I make a distinction between rape and sexual abuse. Many things are based on the truth, but in terms of my partner/boyfriend played by Common, I wanted to portray a man on the opposite end of the spectrum from Bill. A man who is supportive and loving. We need those men in our lives. Martin is based on my now-husband who kept showing up despite how terrible I was to him at times, or how much difficulty I had committing [to him]. He kept showing up and being there and was a very positive male figure in my life.

What are you hoping people take away from the film?

For me, the first takeaway is for people to think about how they’ve told themselves stories to survive and then to begin to examine their own lives, how they deal with trauma, and how the mind is fluid in that way. 

I also want people to genuinely understand how complicated, nuanced, and messy child sexual abuse is. If we understand the complexity and the messiness, I believe we could do better at preventing it and at helping survivors heal.

I think many survivors don’t come forward because they feel their story doesn’t fit the dominant paradigm. One of the things I’ve seen with The Tale is it allows people to share their messy stories. Because my story was complicated I’ve had many people come up and say to me, “Oh my god, for the first time I can talk.” My story also deals with the contradictory feelings and emotions, like the fact a child can love somebody who abuses them, which is a common refrain for children.

The Tale is not only about trauma; it’s about survival. One of the other important messages I want people to take away from this film is that people who have been hurt also can move on to  have good relationships, healthy sexual relationships, good careers, and good lives. The media often portray the “victim” as someone who can’t function. Most survivors do function. They have families, jobs, friends, and even though they have experienced trauma, they survive. I want other survivors—survivors who may be struggling—who see the film to walk away feeling they, too, can survive and lead a good life.

The Tale is not only about trauma; it’s about survival. One of the other important messages I want people to take away from this film is that people who have been hurt also can move on to have good relationships, healthy sexual relationships, good careers, and good lives. The med ia often portray the “victim” as someone who can’t function. Most survivors do function. They have families, jobs, friends, and even though they have experienced trauma, they survive. I want other survivors—survivors who may be struggling—who see the film to walk away feeling they, too, can survive and lead a good life.

The Tale premieres on HBO on May 26, 2018.