Gratitude is a common theme at Joyful Heart Foundation. We open staff meetings with moments of silent appreciation, share openly with colleagues what we value about them, and encourage what many call an active practice of gratitude. I understand the importance of this perspective both personally and professionally and have seen the many gifts that it has brought to my life. Yet, I must admit, at certain moments when I am entrenched in my busy life it has felt more like an item on a checklist. Got gratitude? Check. It can become habitual and less like a conscious practice. “Hi, how are you today?”  “I’m grateful, thanks.” Not that a habit of gratitude is a bad thing, but it had me wondering if the depth of what it means to have a practice of gratitude was getting a bit lost in my own life. That is, until this time last year.

It was at this time last year that my understanding of gratitude took on an entirely new, visceral experience. Last holiday season I met Heather Gunn-Rivera and Leslie Gunn, two strong and brave women who have my deepest respect. Leslie Gunn is an art teacher at Sandy Hook Elementary School and was present on the day of the shooting. Heather is her daughter and now, I am proud to say, a colleague and friend of mine. I would like to share a bit about this dynamic mother-daughter duo and how they helped me see gratitude as the action-oriented, deeply meaningful concept that it is for me today.

How can any of us ever forget the images of trauma, mourning, terror and pain that the media carried to us from Newtown, Connecticut last holiday season? We coped and mourned alongside these brave families, wondering how a person survives this type of loss. We responded in many different ways. We struggled to understand. We took new perspectives on our own lives, holding our children ever-closer. We longed to help but felt at a loss as to how. For some (or maybe I am now just speaking for myself?) we felt a mix of gratitude to be safely with our families and stinging guilt that we were okay when others were is such deep, abiding pain.

While as a nation we grappled with the why and what does this mean, Heather was watching it unfold in her own hometown. She was seeing her mother work without ceasing to support parents, colleagues and community members—all of whom had lost more than can be imagined. She saw the teachers of Newtown band together to completely relocate the school into a new location over their holiday “break,” all while in a state of personal trauma and shock. She saw the impact of the trauma firsthand and was determined to support her mother through the process.

Heather’s vision of support for her mother was the Sandy Hook Healing Project, a healing sanctuary for the teachers of Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Heather envisioned a warm, safe space where the teachers could gather in community, filled with massage therapists, Reiki practitioners, trauma counselors and all sorts of healers providing free services, and where teachers could reboot physically and emotionally from the impact of the trauma.  Then, Heather set about making it a reality, and in the process asked for support to make it happen.

Joyful Heart Foundation answered that request, recognizing the unique match of our expertise in trauma-informed healing work with the needs of the Sandy Hook Healing Project. In a matter of days, Joyful Heart had assessed what needs of Heather’s vision we could support and had mobilized a team to work in partnership with Heather to put the vision into action. To this day, when I think of how in a matter of two days a cold, dark warehouse was transformed into a warm, sanctuary it kind of boggles my mind. And the space was so welcoming, and so needed, that it ended up serving not only the teachers but over 300 community members including first-responders and the families who were mourning the loss of their classmates and children. 

So, what does this all have to do with gratitude? Because of the two weeks I spent with Heather and Leslie in Newtown, along with the many others who rallied in the aftermath of the trauma, I am forever changed. I witnessed gratitude in active practice at moments of deepest crisis. For me, gratitude is no longer something I must remember to practice or a habitual response that isn’t given thought. It is now part of my being, part of the way my heart beats. I sit in board meetings and I cry because I am so grateful to work for Joyful Heart—an organization that will, at a moment's notice, respond when needed and has the depth of understanding to see the connection between the violent act that started inside the home of one family and the rampant levels of violence that contribute to the safety of our nation. I smile with a mix of love, awe and respect when I think of Heather and Leslie, as well as the other families that I met in Newtown, who are pushing forward with levels of courage that are beyond what can be measured. And I hold my 19-year-old son closer with a heart filled with gratitude for each moment I have with him.

Thank you, Heather and Leslie, for allowing Joyful Heart—and me—to be our service in your community. I am grateful.