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1in6 Thursday: Traumas and Healing
We’ve all been reminded this week of the solace we found eleven years ago in the communal sense of shock and the shared resolve to heal from the horrible losses we experienced on September 11. No doubt, scars still remain. But together, we faced down our fear, we shored one another up against our new-found sense of vulnerability and shook off the stunning betrayal of our belief that we were safe from attack.
Whether we experienced the impact of 9/11 directly or indirectly, that spirit of mutual support has nurtured much of whatever healing we have achieved both as individuals and as a community.
In many ways, the power of that all-encompassing response to a huge catastrophe like 9/11, which had such devastating consequences for so many, may also hold valuable lessons for individuals who experience trauma on a less spectacular scale.
As we collectively mourned this week for the thousands who died on 9/11 and in the subsequent wars that those attacks unleashed, I was attending a national conference on abuse and trauma, including childhood sexual abuse. And as I sifted through both sad and inspiring memories from eleven years ago, I couldn’t help but wonder how child victims of sexual abuse might also be shored up by such an ongoing validation and community-wide declaration of support and nurturance for the traumatic disruption in their young lives.
But because sexual abuse is most often a private, rather than a public upheaval in a child’s world, children are more likely to find themselves fighting to restore a sense of safety on their own, in silence. And sadly, because of socialized norms of masculinity that discourage boys from disclosing feelings of vulnerability or fear, males who experience childhood sexual abuse may face an even higher hurdle to seeking outside help and support. Imagine the positive difference in the lives of our men, their families and communities if men’s acknowledgement of painful experiences and their expression of a range of deep emotions were encouraged rather than belittled by our cultural standards.
And so, without any intention of suggesting a comparison or hierarchy between different kinds of trauma, I was struck by a sudden realization: as in any gathering, it’s most likely true, that of the thousands who died as the result of the 9/11 attacks, 1 in 6 of the men and 1 in 3 of the women had previously experienced childhood sexual abuse—including no doubt many of the police and firefighters who raced into burning and collapsing buildings to save others.
Each in their own way, had gathered their strength and moved forward with their life. As business professionals, service workers, emergency personnel, laborers, parents and teachers, spouses and partners, leaders and followers, they’d somehow managed the fallout from their previous trauma with varying degrees of success. Some healed, some struggled. And on that day, more than a few undoubtedly drew on the survival skills they’d spent a lifetime mastering, as so many of them became heroes in that massive calamity.
Peter Pollard is the Training and Outreach Director for 1in6, Inc. Peter previously worked for 15 years as a state, child-protection social worker and was the Public Education director at Stop It Now! Since 2003, he has served as the Western Massachusetts coordinator for SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) and also does work for a Certified Batterers Intervention Program.
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.
1in6's mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.
Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.
The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.
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