The following post is the second in a mini-series by Aaron Kesseler. You can read his first post here and look out for more in the coming months for more about his journey through healing as a survivor of child sexual abuse.

It took a few days from the time I talked to James before I worked up the courage to tell my dad what had happened to me. When I finally sat down to talk with him and my step-mom, I felt very scared and very ashamed. They were both supportive of me and wanted to help me through the process in any way that they could. We contacted the detectives who were assigned to the case and they came out and conducted a gentle but detailed interview concerning the incident. It was the official beginning of what would turn out to be a 2-year journey.

My initial response to the entire situation sounded very good. I thought to myself, "What Chris did to me was wrong, very wrong, but I’m a Christian. Just as Christ has forgiven me, I forgive him. Chris must be made accountable and disciplined appropriately by the law for his actions, but I personally am going to be fine because I am a new creation in Christ. My past does not define me!"

But I had a harder time adjusting to my new reality of living with the constant awareness of what had happened to me than I thought I would.

I remember one night a few weeks after I talked to the detectives, I was looking in the mirror and it really hit me for the first time. This actually happened. From that point on things began to spiral downhill. Just a few short months before, I had loved school and loved to learn. I had even been elected to be the freshmen Class President. But more recently, I began skipping classes because I was too depressed to get out of bed in the morning. I managed to limp through the first semester, but by the year’s end I had only accumulated a third of the credits that I had originally signed up for.

I was having a hard time being normal. I was in so much pain inside and I didn’t know how to handle it. I was seeing a counselor regularly who had also been a victim when she was a young girl. During one of our sessions she told me something that changed my life forever: "Before you can really deal with something in a healthy way you have to realize what was stolen from you."

Then she shared an analogy with me that really brought this home.

Imagine your room as a child. There’s your bed, the window and a dresser. And on that dresser there are some trophies that you won from sports you've played and tournaments you've won. And while you're gone, someone comes and steals one of those trophies.

When you get home you immediately notice they were stolen and when you do, you experience some emotions. Maybe you're angry because someone took something of yours, or maybe you feel violated because someone entered your room while you were gone; whatever it is you're able to deal with it right then and there because you know what was stolen.

Now imagine that you have a small box with your most valued possessions in it—the things that mean the most to you. While you are gone someone goes into your room, right to that box hidden in your closet, and takes an item from it. Now you may not know that something was stolen for weeks or even months, but when you do you are devastated.

"You see," said the counselor. "You cannot truly address what happened to you until you realize what was taken from you. What did he take from you Aaron?" As I pondered this I realized that Chris had introduced me to sexuality at a young age in the wrong way and in doing so he had stolen my innocence. When I realized this, my attitude changed completely. Now it wasn’t so easy to say, "I’m a Christian so I forgive him." Now I was furious.

I did not know my savage thirst until You led me to Your well. I did not know I lived in chains until You freed me. --Randy Stonehill, Fire

Aaron Kesseler was born in 1986, married the love of his life in 2010 and is currently working for his step-father’s commercial heating business in Seattle, WA. After high school he attended Northwest University in Kirkland for two years. Aaron has volunteered as a camp counselor for five years with the Muscular Dystrophy Association Summer Camp as well as three years with Royal Family Kids Camp, a summer camp for the most abused and neglected children in the area.

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6's mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.