If you're like me, you watched in disbelief as the news media uncovered recent childhood sexual abuse allegations at Penn State University, Syracuse and numerous other institutions. I couldn't help but wonder how these allegations were kept from authorities for so long. As someone who endured seven years of sexual abuse as a child, I understood why the alleged victims didn't feel safe to talk, but I couldn't get my head around how or why the adults who were made aware of the alleged abuse were so reluctant to demand justice. My disbelief turned to frustration, my frustration to anger as the stories unfolded, until ultimately, I was forced to accept that many people simply lose their way when faced with allegations of this magnitude.

About a month ago, my wife and I headed to one of our favorite local restaurants for dinner. We were surprised to find a line out the door, so we opted to eat at the bar. We sat down, jammed between bar patrons, and we prepared to order. The man to my right caught my eye. He was drinking straight vodka and chasing it with olive juice. I struck up a conversation with him about his interesting choice of libations and we exchanged pleasantries, having a laugh about his unusual order. I asked him what he did in town. His response was, "Besides young boys?"

His answer obviously caught me off-guard. It took me a second to formulate a follow-up question but for some reason, I side-stepped his answer and started talking about myself. I told him about my recovery from years of abuse as a child. He nodded his head, refusing to make eye contact at that point, and began sweating profusely. I carried on about a recent book I wrote about my recovery and shared with him how much my childhood experiences impacted all facets of my adult life. Noticing he was clearly uncomfortable and sweating even more, I ordered my meal and tried to enjoy dinner with my wife. I didn't speak to the man again and left the bar feeling incredibly unsettled.

That night I tossed and turned in bed, wondering why I didn't probe more about his abrupt and alarming answer to my first question. I didn't understand why I avoided his virtual red flag and instead focused on teaching him about my past, but deep down I knew that I didn't want to corner him into a confrontation.

The next morning, I realized I had to do something. I returned to the bar in the afternoon and spoke with the bar owner. She said that she knew him. He was a loyal customer and a great guy. She said that he spends every evening at the bar. When I told her what he said to me, her only response was, "You must have heard him incorrectly, he would never do something like that." I was surprised at how quickly she came to his defense. After a few minutes, I could tell she was getting annoyed with my persistence so I left the bar feeling frustrated and silenced.

About two weeks of interrupted sleep later, I knew I had to do something more, but I wasn't sure what step I should take. Here I was, an abuse survivor and staff member of 1in6, an organization founded to help men with sexually abusive pasts, and I still didn't know what to do next. After a conversation with colleagues, I decided to call the helpline at Stop It Now!, a leader in abuse prevention and awareness. They said there was probably nothing I could do, but that I should report the conversation to the state police. I reported the abuse and although there wasn't much that they could do legally, they recorded and filed my complaint.

At the end of the day, I knew I exhausted my options, but I gained some peace of mind and learned an important lesson. If it was this difficult for me to figure out what to do, given my profession and my past, it must be that much more confusing for someone else who suspects abuse.

As I look back at the handling of the abuse allegations at Penn State and elsewhere, I don't come up with any excuses for their actions (or lack thereof), but I do see how this subject can create confusion.

Whether you are a parent or leader who suspects abuse or someone like me who simply heard something that didn't sound right, the best thing is to do is to contact a resource like 1in6 Online SupportLine or the Stop It Now! Helpline at 1-888-PREVENT to find out how you can report suspected abuse.

Although it's challenging or may make us uncomfortable, speaking up is our responsibility. Children need us to take action instead of contemplating the next move like a deer in the headlights.

- By Chris Carlton

Chris Carlton is the Development Director at 1in6. He is the author of Nice To Meet Me, a book that chronicles his journey through therapy for sexual abuse in an effort to help fellow abuse survivors and those who love them better understand the process of recovery. Chris is a former U.S. Navy intelligence officer and advertising executive living in Richmond, Virginia

The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives.

1in6's mission also includes serving family members, friends, and partners by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.

Joyful Heart and 1in6 invite you to visit 1in6.org for info, options and hope, and to learn more about our partnership and Engaging Men initiative at men.joyfulheartfoundation.org.

The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the Joyful Heart Foundation or 1in6.