Last week, former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was back in the news when a New Jersey court dismissed the domestic violence charge against him following his completion of a pre-trial intervention program. And just this weekend, defensive end Ray McDonald was arrested on charges of domestic violence and child endangerment, and subsequently released from his contract with the Chicago Bears.

The coverage, and the conversation, bring me back to the fall of last year when headlines about domestic violence dominated the news with the release of a video of Rice’s  crime and the NFL’s decision to indefinitely suspend him. At the time, I expressed my sincerest hope that the NFL’s decision and its leadership’s commitment to do better by domestic violence survivors would be a turning point in how they and other influential institutions prevent and respond to domestic violence. My expectations were not small. Like so many of you, they were—and are—for deep and meaningful change. And I have been encouraged as the volume on the conversation about domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse got turned up and these issues captured the public’s attention like never before.

Within two weeks of suspending Rice, the NFL started airing the NO MORE PSAs during all games through the playoffs. By October, more than 16.6 million fans each week were watching the spots, including new spots with 23 current and former NFL players. I am proud of the pivotal role Joyful Heart played in bringing this conversation to millions upon millions of Americans.

But McDonald’s initial domestic violence arrest in 2014—while he was playing for the San Francisco 49ers—never resulted in charges filed by the police. And from the outset of the Ray Rice case, the Atlantic City police and prosecutor's response raised serious questions about how the criminal justice system approaches the crime of domestic violence. Now, dismissing the charges sends the wrong message to survivors. It says that law enforcement agencies and prosecutors don’t treat domestic violence as seriously as other crimes. This message silences and isolates far too many survivors. We owe it to survivors—and ourselves— to improve the criminal justice response to these crimes. To ensure that police and prosecutors make every effort to ensure survivors’ safety and to hold offenders accountable to the fullest extent possible. 

Once again, we find ourselves searching for how to respond, for language to talk about these crimes, to express our feelings, and for what to do next. As I have said so many times before, it matters deeply how we respond to these issues. It’s easier to say that the problems with our domestic violence response are confined to the criminal justice system, to our institutions, to communities other than our own. But they’re not. It affects all of us—and we all have a role to play in supporting survivors and creating a society that doesn’t tolerate these crimes.

Here’s what we can do:

1. Support survivors. This takes the form of bearing witness to someone’s story, of believing them without judgment. It also takes the form of being an active, engaged community member. Help dispel the myths that blame survivors and excuse perpetrators—myths like she was "asking for it" or that “it’s her fault.” Or that because a victim of domestic violence didn't leave her abusive partner, that she wasn't doing everything she knew how to do to be safe. 
2. Learn these facts. Domestic violence—any kind of violence and abuse—is difficult to talk about, but we still need to break the silence. Nearly 64% of Americans say that if we talk more about domestic violence and sexual assault, it would make it easier to help someone. Start with the facts; they are the foundation of these conversations. This is a significant opportunity to turn up the volume on them. 
3. Engage men to be part of the solution. For the men in our community, we encourage you to stand up and be part of the solution. Take the pledge to say NO MORE and encourage other men to do the same. Talk with men and boys in your life about healthy relationships and the importance of respecting themselves and others, including women and girls. When we don’t speak out against domestic violence, we allow it to continue.

Although I celebrate the remarkable changes we have seen and how many people have been reached by the NO MORE PSAs—an amazing 3 billion media impressions, including more than 1.8 billion impressions from television broadcast— I know how much more we have to do. We have so much further to go to truly drive this discussion in the right direct direction and to examine how we—in our individual interactions, in our criminal justice system, in our institutions—respond to violence and hold perpetrators accountable. 

I thank you for the bottom of my heart for standing with us—for believing in the change that is on the horizon. We will get there. 

A final and very important note:As we are inundated with news and information—some of it graphic and possibly triggering, we invite you to practice self-care to help process this information and mitigate additional trauma.