Reunion Online

I have now made the choice to do my best to repair and rebuild myself into a whole and healthy person.

Both women and men can be triggered by current events to re-experience the well-known “fight, flight, or freeze” responses left over from childhood trauma. Years of trauma research has shown us that establishing safety and emotional connection are important components in healing from childhood abuse.

Here on the east coast, the nights are getting crisp and the leaves are beginning to change. Fall means only one thing around here: football season. As a child growing up in a rural town, football was a central part of folks’ lives. Football culture defined what it meant to be a male. Back home, true American males embodied football. 

In my work with 1in6, I’ve heard many men’s stories of trauma and recovery, each one unique. 

I’ll admit that when I first listened to David Holthouse’s startling declaration that he’d once planned to commit murder, I was a bit shocked. It would have been difficult then to imagine how his searing story of recovery from a childhood rape could be transformed into a play that would leave me feeling, not just moved, but inspired. 

Just accepting that the result of a sexual experience in childhood was “unwanted” is enough to start the process of reclaiming a healthy and happy life.”

So I was particularly pleased last week to travel to State College, Pennsylvania to mingle with local supporters of the recently formed Peaceful Hearts Foundation, an organization founded by Matthew and Kim Sandusky to support those who experienced childhood sexual abuse.

These are daunting obstacles to creating a safe, supportive environment so that our community members are safe and those aren’t can come forward and seek help. But there are practical steps that Christian leaders and congregation members should consider when dealing with domestic violence victims-survivors and offenders.

The discussion also provides a unique opportunity to expand our understanding of how the complex, life-long impacts of sexual abuse, assault and interpersonal violence affect both men and women.

A week ago, I received the most amazing gift. I was offered the chance to travel back in time, by participating in a week-long camp for young boys that have experienced abuse.

With the college semester already underway - or fast approaching for universities following the quarter system-, survivor groups and campaigns on campus are busy at work promoting consent, bystander intervention, and resource education to incoming freshman and transfers.