Reunion Online

At the Golden Globe Awards last month, the #MeToo movement and TIME’S UP initiative took center stage. In a visually stunning show of solidarity, attendees—both women and men —wore black eveningwear and “Time’s Up” pins. But while nearly every woman who accepted an award spoke out in support of survivors in all industries, expressed their gratitude for the silence breakers, and called for change, not one man mentioned the #MeToo or TIME’S UP movements in their acceptance speeches. Not one.

My adult self had already processed and come to accept the fact that mother was never going to make amends to me or change. On the other hand, my inner child was sad and upset. My inner child was still hoping that my mother would sit down and talk with me, tell me she loved me, and was sorry for the abuse she both allowed and inflicted on me. Now that will never happen, and my inner child will have a bit more healing to do.

Many believe it is not necessary to forgive the person who hurt you, in order to heal.

On Wednesday, October 5th, I flew over the beautiful, rugged landscape of western New Mexico, bound for Phoenix.

One of the affects of my abuse that has followed me into my adult life until just recently is being accepted.

I’ve always been intrigued by the different choices people make, while working to restore good boundaries in their life after an experience of abuse.

First, I have to decide to make it happen. Then, I go looking for it.

I was pleased to join the work of 1in6.org as a new Board Member in June. In the three-plus decades that I have been involved in the anti-violence movement, I have witnessed the movement grow to reach new constituencies, and embrace new approaches unique to the needs of particular client groups.

In my experience, one path to true happiness and freedom is forgiveness, which is why I love writing about it.

Earlier this year, Parul Sehgal wrote an essay examining “compulsory survivorship”—the tendency to label everyone who has had an abusive or unwanted sexual experience as a survivor.