Reunion Online

The revelation this week about decades of unaddressed sexual abuse and assault at a New England school offers some important reminders about the power of community.

Many of us adults who have experienced childhood sexual abuse and other traumas find ourselves with confused feelings as we’re confronted with holiday promises of joy, connection and good will, which may run contrary to our memories of our own childhoods.

"What helped you the most in your healing?" a radio host asked me. "Two people listened when I told them," I said without hesitating. "They didn't condemn or belittle me."

We’ve heard it takes a village to raise a child. In a way, these men, by connecting with each other, are recreating the network of support and nurturance idealized in the image of that protective village, which for so many men was unavailable in their own childhoods

The piece that I am having trouble with is that my safe space is a place in my mind where no one can reach me, and I am alone there.

I realize now I’d been unknowingly recovering for years before I acknowledged to myself that the unwanted sexual interactions I’d had with my parish priest were abusive.

Be kind to yourself. Say only positive, loving thoughts to yourself.

There is nothing wrong with us; something wrong was done to us.

There is no rushing through the inner healing process. It takes time. And effort.

And we were vulnerable.