Reunion Online

When Mariska founded the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004, we knew that so much was possible, but we had no idea just how much. Because of your support we’ve directly served over 10,000 survivors and the professionals who care for them since our inception.

 Hope is essential to life, especially for those who are forced (or choose) to deal with painful experiences from our past. By biblical (and practical) definition, hope is only possibly when we have not yet obtained that which we are hoping for. "Hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance" (Romans 8:24-25). To endure painful circumstances we must develop a vision of a brighter future, one that is free of our current pain and hardship.

We’ve all been reminded this week of the solace we found eleven years ago in the communal sense of shock and the shared resolve to heal from the horrible losses we experienced on September 11. No doubt, scars still remain. But together, we faced down our fear, we shored one another up against our new-found sense of vulnerability and shook off the stunning betrayal of our belief that we were safe from attack.

 I don't know how he got my telephone number and he never told me his name. As soon as I identified myself, he blurted: "Why should a man tell anyone about his abuse?"

"He doesn't need to tell anyone. He can keep it a secret until he dies," I said.

"But talking is just talking—just mere words."

Certain he was referring to himself, I asked, "Have you ever told anyone?"

After a long silence, he mumbled, "No."

I remember the interview like it was yesterday. The year was 1984, and I was a oh-so-young, oh-so-green social work student conducting an interview with a veteran gay activist at our local GLBTQ center. (Mind you, many of those letters weren’t spoken of back then). I was 24 years-old, straight-define, and I literally quivered with nervousness at being, for the first time in my life, in queer-defined space. My purpose of the meeting—to research the history and advocacy of the centre for my studies in community development—belied my internal emotional state.

One of the challenges organizations working with men who have been sexually abused in childhood face, is to find helpful ways to enhance public awareness, discussion and support around this issue. 1in6 and Living Well hope that the "Let’s Talk..." Poster/Visual Media Competition will help broaden the public conversation on this issue in new and interesting ways.

Peace Over Violence is in the midst of holding our third annual Summer Youth Leadership Institute on Violence Prevention. Twenty-five youth are participating in a month-long training learning about the dynamics of relationship and sexual violence and about healthy relationships. These youth are prioritizing violence prevention and learning skills and tools to take with them as they become leaders in their own lives and in their communities.

I was telling a friend recently about my emotional reaction the first time I heard the Joyful Heart Foundation’s PSA that talks about about engaging men to "end violence against all people, men women and children."

As I reread my first three blog entries and recall in my mind the pain and the trial of that season of my life I do not feel shame over it. I used to, but not anymore. I believe that shame is one of the most destructive forces on this planet, if not the most destructive. Shame causes us to live in fear of others knowing. This fear causes us to hide and to hide we must become masters of control.

How come, those of us in the trauma recovery field don’t talk much about sex?

I was doing some research the other day, trying to find some data on sexual issues that survivors face. I looked through some big volumes, I looked through some research articles. I looked in resources for survivors, I looked in books for clinicians.

This is what I concluded: this biz doesn’t like to talk about sex.