Reunion Online

There are 19 million men in this country who, in some form, have had similar experiences. You are not alone, and those who will help and support your healing journey are many. We are here to bear witness to your pain and celebrate your recovery.

With the start of the school year, I’m reminded of my surprise when my time in graduate school stirred so many unconscious reactions to my childhood sexual abuse. Recognizing what was happening eventually allowed me to manage those feelings. And it actually reinforced some valuable lessons about healing.

Most of us know this fact, although few of us make use of the information: Events in our childhood shaped our attitudes and our behavior. If we reflect on our lives, usually we can see that the past—both good and bad—affected our personalities and formed us into becoming who we are today. Today, Cecil Murphey describes how the abuse he experience shaped him.

In today's 1in6 Thursday, Martha Marin urges colleges and universities to remember the silent male survivor during their Sexual Assault Awareness Month events this April 2013. She reminds us that making sure we have adequate resources is just as important as outreach. Martha and 1in6, Inc. offer hope and support to campus outreach programs across the nation.

Today, Emiliano Diaz de Leon discusses cultural gender norms, their negative correlation to sexual violence and the challenges they impose on males surviving childhood sexual abuse. In response, de Leon explores the power of choice, positive masculinity and the joy of redefining “machismo” for his own family. He says, "Every man is responsible for painting his own picture of what kind of man he wants to be, and if enough men paint with respect and real courage, then perhaps, “machismo” will come to include a grand masterpiece of tolerance and nonviolence that encourages men to freely show their vulnerabilities and to begin to heal."

Patti Giggans, Executive Director of Peace Over Violence, discusses the negative effects of increasing restrictive residency rules for sex offenders while reducing their access to resources, monitoring and increasing the risk of recidivism. In her piece, she highlights the latest strategy to restrict where convicted sex offenders live is to create parks where none exist to force registered sex offenders to move out of a neighborhood. The City of Los Angeles plans to build three pocket parks in the communities of Harbor Gateway and Wilmington. California state law prohibits sex offenders from living within 2,000 feet of a park, playground school or a daycare center. Some states restrict living within 1,000 feet or near certain bus stops. The concern? That these over-restrictive policies can backfire, actually increasing recidivism and reducing public health and safety.

The power to choose when and how one heals is just as important as finding a support system that works for YOU. Some choose faith and mental health support. We heal “In our own time, and at our own pace. - the 1in6 Family.

It was during Aaron's first year of college that my past abuse was brought to the light. In today's post, he discusses that time in his life, two years he recalls as "intense emotional warfare." But through his strength and his faith, he has come out the other side healthier—feeling more whole, more complete as a person.

My friend Steve introduced me to the term, Secondary Survivor. Those two words say it well for those of us who have significant people in our lives.We’re survivors and the people who truly love us have also endured.

Randy discusses the walls he built to protect himself, keep his abuse secret and survive. As the walls came down, Randy says his lif has begun to make sense. He says he's finally growing beyond just surviving. Love has replaced fear, and new relationships have replaced loneliness. Though he will always have to deal with his issues, each day begins anew, with the chance for joy in each of them.

In today's 1in6 post, Peter Pollard discusses intervention and prevention. As he reflects on 1in6's, he discusses where the roads of intervention—helping men (and those who care about them) understand and heal from past troubling sexual experiences—meet.