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Prioritizing Yourself
The season premiere of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is fast approaching and many are waiting in anticipation to find out what happens to Detective Olivia Benson. For some, witnessing the ordeal she endures could be painful, as it can be an all too-real depiction of a personal experience.
We are aware that many fans of Mariska are survivors themselves. Many have shared their stories with us, and we hold this trust as sacred. We understand why what occurs within the role of Detective Olivia Benson may hold deeper meaning than most characters on television. One survivor shared with us that seeing Detective Benson fight for justice on behalf of survivors was an opportunity to imagine how her life could have been different if someone had been there to do that for her.
We know that the character of Olivia is a survivor and we will bear witness to her courageous pursuit of healing. And yet witnessing an individual’s indomitable strength in adversity also means you are bearing witness to the adversity. Everyone can have a different response to a story like this, even a story on television. And it’s difficult to know how a person will be affected. So, in this spirit we wish to offer what we have found at Joyful Heart to be helpful in bearing witness to stories—real or not.
The effects of trauma in the body are complex and can bring up different trauma reminders that are unique to us. When we interact with our environment, it can awaken memories of a past experience—your own or a loved one’s—that can affect us in the moment. Remember that you are the absolute best judge of how much emotionally charged information you can take in at any given moment. You have agency over what information you take in, as well as the information you share with others. You have the right to walk away or pace the intake of information.
Anytime you bear witness to emotionally charged information—whether that be through the media or listening to a friend share their personal challenges—it is important to create ample time to allow yourself to process and release what you have just taken in. Our bodies are vessels of energy, and that energy takes on many forms of information, feelings and thoughts.
A self-care check in may be helpful. What emotions are you feeling? Are you experiencing thoughts or memories related to your own or a loved one’s trauma? Are you feeling tension in your body or are you holding your breath? Common bodily responses to trauma include tension, fear, anger, sadness and maybe even feeling unsafe.
Remind yourself that what you might be experiencing is a common response. In many ways, it is your body letting you know this is too much right now. Please pace yourself. It is a way for your body to communicate with you about what you may need for your own self-care. If you are feeling in any way unsafe, create a safety plan such as calling a friend or talking to your therapist, if you have one.
Allow your feelings to exist and be gentle with yourself as you process them. It is common for us to criticize ourselves for feeling a certain way. What may be more helpful is to approach yourself the way you would support a best friend—with deep acceptance and compassion.
There are other creative and helpful ways of addressing your thoughts and feelings about this situation, such as talking, journaling, drawing or other art forms. These coping strategies can be helpful in creating insight about your own traumatic experience and healing path. Additionally, creating daily practices that involve exercise, relaxation or breathing exercises can help you release tension from your mind and body and reduce stress.
Ultimately, you are the expert on your own experience. We know and honor this wisdom and are aware of the inherent strength and courage that each survivor must access in themselves daily as they conquer the challenges that trauma has placed in their lives. Our deepest respect to each of you, and to this process. Thank you for allowing us to part of that journey.
The coping tools described above are just a few ideas that can assist you in developing your own healing practices. If you’d like to explore even more possible approaches, here are some additional articles that might be of use:
- Explore your journey by creating a story.
- Give meditation a chance.
- Unlock your creative potential. Check out the blog and our featured modality on creative expression from Reunion Issue No. 3.
- Create a lasting peaceful home retreat.
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE | www.rainn.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 | www.thehotline.org
And learn more about sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse here.
Your Voices