Reunion Online

Even a few years ago, who would have imagined that the opening plenary panel at the 2013 End Violence Against Women International (EVAWI) conference (last week in Baltimore) would focus on supporting men who have experienced unwanted or abusive childhood sexual interactions. It’s difficult to overstate the value of a shift in thinking that exposed nearly 1,200 conference participants—including advocates, investigators, prosecutors and clinicians—to the notion of engaging men as direct beneficiaries of efforts to end sexual violence. What a long way we’ve come!

In today's 1in6 Thursday, Martha Marin urges colleges and universities to remember the silent male survivor during their Sexual Assault Awareness Month events this April 2013. She reminds us that making sure we have adequate resources is just as important as outreach. Martha and 1in6, Inc. offer hope and support to campus outreach programs across the nation.

My friend Steve introduced me to the term, Secondary Survivor. Those two words say it well for those of us who have significant people in our lives.We’re survivors and the people who truly love us have also endured.

Weeks have passed since we rang in the New Year, and already our holiday cheer has begun to fade. Perhaps, that is why we begin each year with the same routine of reflecting on how we are going to improve ourselves in the coming year and then resolving to do a whole list of things that, too often, result in no change at all. This year, Emiliano challenges us to break free from this routine and the typical resolutions of weight loss and financial gain in order to bring about true change not just in yourself but in your community, as well. He invites us to reflect on the issue of male childhood sexual abuse and resolve to be a part of a growing network of support.

We begin this New Year with a much greater awareness within our communities than just a year ago about the frequency at which boys are subjected to unwanted or abusive sexual experiences. So let’s hope that when we look back on 2013, we’ll be able to see it as the tipping point year, when individual’s, families’ and communities’ support for men’s willingness to seek help to recover from unwanted or abusive childhood sexual experiences became the norm, rather than the exception.

In today's 1in6 Thursday, Cecil Murphey recounts an experience talking with another male survivor of childhood sexual abuse. A man decided to break the silence of his abuse by talking with other men. He’s finally able to believe that others have struggled with the same issues because of the molestation in his childhood. As Cecil says, all of us win by helping each other.

What would it be like if we, collectively, really saw surviving abuse or assault without blame, stigma or shame? Unafraid to listen to someone's story and unafraid to say "NO MORE?"

Back in September, Aaron shared the first part of his story of hope on the Joyful Heart Blog. In it, he said, "Hope is essential to life, especially for those who are forced (or choose) to deal with painful experiences from our past," Taking inspiration and encouragement from his faith, Aaron made it through. Today, he continues with the second part of his story.

For several days, one sentence has continued to trouble me: "I'll never forgive you." Those words were spoken by the man identified only as Victim 4 at the Jerry Sandusky sentencing on October 9, 2012. His words say several things to me.

Growing up in East Austin, there was little refuge for me from the gangs, drugs, and violence in my barrio, so when an opportunity arose for me to join the Boy Scouts as a teen, I jumped at the chance. I went from feeling trapped by the violence I was witnessing in my own home to the freedom of exploring the outdoors. Through the guidance of my Scoutmaster, I acquired camping and survival skills, but I also learned how to navigate through my adolescence using the Boy Scout Oath and Law as a compass.