Reunion Online

I had the privilege recently of attending the national summit of a new initiative lead by Esta Soler and her team at Futures Without Violence and the Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention called The Y Factor: Men Leading By Example. The event saluted and encouraged activists and survivors who are committed to ending violence against women and children.

About three years ago, I made a gut-wrenching decision that would alter my life forever. At that time, I was in the middle of a breakdown of sorts. I wasn’t sure why I was in the middle of a breakdown—and for that I was confused—but since I couldn’t manage my anger and emotions,  I decided to quit my job in advertising, a job that many people would kill for.

The following post is the second in a mini-series by Aaron Kesseler. You can read his first post here and look out for more in the coming months for more about his journey through healing as a survivor of child sexual abuse.

Thanks to you and the other members of our community, today—Sexual Assault Awareness Month Day of Action—marks an important and revolutionary moment for the Joyful Heart Foundation. And because of your generosity and commitment, we've been able to help transform lives and create change in how communities and the criminal justice system respond to sexual violence.

When  1in6’s founding Board member, Dr. David Lisak, and I were talking with a group of students and staff at Brown University recently, someone asked for ideas about how to best  support a friend or family member who is coming to terms with unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood.

"Good" and "evil" always seem like handy labels, especially when describing those involved in incidents of child sexual abuse.

So depending on your point of view, I was either blessed or cursed by lessons I learned 25 years ago from Roger, a complicated man who upended any certainty I had that the distinctions between "good" and "evil" are actually so sharply defined.

Why haven't I worked through all these issues? Why am I still not healed?

Most of us who are survivors ask ourselves these questions many times. "I've been on this journey for five years. When does it end?"

They are the questions we ask on our worst days.

If you walk into my home office in Austin, Texas you will see two posters—one of Emiliano Zapata and the other of Cesar Chavez. Both of these men struggled for the rights of the poor and oppressed and organized movements that changed society; however, the tactics they used to achieve this social change differed greatly. As his birthday approaches, I would like to reflect on the example of change set forth by Cesar Chavez.

Chavez once said:

Los Angeles is going through a crisis of confidence in the capacity of the Los Angeles Unified School District to protect children from sexual abuse by trusted adults: their teachers. In the span of a weeks time, 4 adult teachers were arrested for alleged sexual abuse of students and one entire school?Miramonte Elementary?was emptied of its entire faculty and administrative staff and replaced with a whole new team.

This is my first blog for 1in6. I guess a good way to introduce myself is to tell you a little about what I have gone through and the feelings I dealt with along the way.